"There's a tear in the fabric, of your favourite dress/ and I'm stealing glances."

I was just on CBC1's Ontatrio today talking about how people should have their own common sense instead of having it legislated by government, which does very little, especially with teenagers. The real reason I was on is that I tried to get on the gardening phone-in for help with my bonsai tree, but I didn't get through and I felt like arguing with Rita Celli about something.

So, I'm learning to drive now! I'm very excited. While I don't like how people drive everywhere (except at 7am when I just really don't want to bus to school in the dark. Or when it's cold.), and I know the state of our ozone sucks... but nothing beats sitting in the driver's seat with your mom beside you, gripping the seat every time you go over 20 (km/h, for you Americans). What a perfect metaphor for teenage-dom.

On Friday, I saw Russel Nick briefly when we had biology exams at the same time. We chatted, and then talked about how we should both be going -- I, to work, as usual, and he said he needed to go to Mike's (Yes, THE Mike) house to drop off Mike's calculator which Nick had borrowed. I, being the, kind and generous soul that I am, pointed out that I was about to go to work where Mike also works, and why shouldn't I take it to him and save Nick the trip? So that's what we did.

If only I had remembered I had Mike's calculator. If only I have been thirsty, or bored, and had needed to retrieve my water bottle or book from my backpack while at work. If only I had kept my mouth shut. Unfortunately, none of these situations are what happenned. Instead, I totally forgot I had Mike's calculator and I went home without completing my promised task.

So, on Sunday, Nick signs on to msn and angrily reminds me that I was supposed to give Mike his calculator and I forgot. I was doing him a favour, he could have been a little nicer to me. But I had forgotten, and in my haste to correct my mistake, I imed Mike, who was also online, and told him I'd be over in 15 minutes to return the calculator. He told me which house he was at, and I left.

Since I had given him such ample warning, I was somewhat perplexed when I rang the doorbell and saw him approaching through the warped glass and I realized he wasn't wearing a shirt. Yes, big deal, blah blah, I understand. But Mike and I had conversations about many things while we were dating, and even after we broke up, and there are two things he knows very well that apply to this situation.
1) Despite his slightly on the emaciated side of things appearance, I still find him very attractive without a shirt on.
2) I'm having a much harder time getting over our relationship than he is. Had. Whatever.

So I was feeling kind of like the porch was rolling under my feet when he openned the door. I handed him the calculator and he said thanks. And all I could do was give him a thumbs up, turn around and walk away in what I hope was a dignified way. But I probably looked like my legs were jelly-like. Which they were. I can't believe how lame I can be. Or how much seeing him once, for 10 seconds, without his shirt on made me think of many, many things and made me really, really want to find someone -- anyone -- and make out with them. Preferably in front of Mike, to show him how over him I am. Maybe I'll take my shirt off.

Think it will work?



So my advice to you is: next time you have to go to the DMV, you'd better bring along your wings.