"I want to take a nap but I keep getting hit with... condoms!" -- Julie

I spent today (starting at 8am) working packaging condoms again for the thing at my mom's office. It was fun today because I was working with Julie, one of the drama assistants from Insight. I gave her name to my mom for the job, so I went to work today too and we hung out all day. She's my age and all summer I've been wanting to get to know her better, so I got my chance.
We talked about improv (she's on her school team, Colonel By, and they think Lisgar's improv is "Planned-prov" :P) and Insight (who would be this year's friendships (undecided) who would be this year's couple (money was on me and Jon, apparently, until everyone found out in summer training that I have -- had -- a bf)) and Mike. She's really nice, and cranked "I Will Survive" through her headphones for me. We also talked about her boyfriend of 13 months, Tristan (oh, sadness). On the subject of Mike, Julie said that if in 5 months my life still sucked because of him, she'd come castrate him for me. Thanks Julie... I think :P.

So on the way to Julie's bus stop after work, I ran into Mike. We talked (I cried a little. I tried to contain myself) about us being friends and some good things were said and I get where he's at and I hope he understands where I'm coming from too. I hope we can work something out and at least stay friends. If I'm not in his life as a friend, how will there ever be a chance for more?
But I'm still afraid. I feel like I'm treading lightly so that I don't screw up, because I just want everything to be how he wants it so he won't push me away. If I screw up, I'll lose him completely. That can't happen. At the same time the way I'm waiting to follow his lead means I'm waiting and not working, which isn't helping either. I hope after tonight's conversation we can be friends more.

The best thing that came out of our conversation tonight is that the one thing I wanted most, which is to be able to cry in front of him and with him, on his shoulder, I got. As long as he's ok with that, I am a much happier Evey than yesterday. Not perfect, but I'm working on being happier, one day at a time.

Tampons in the nose is funny.