Paris, je t'aime

Today, the worst happenned. After months of pushing through and teetering on the edge of where I should be and just barely keeping up, I'm into the real trouble now.

I failed my first test.

Yes, it's true. I am a huge over-achiever. But really, at my school, everyone is. The fact that I'm taking a gr 12 course is nothing new. And getting over 80% average? Why, anything below that is practically a fail! What else is there? I have succumbed to the pressure. I am severely let down if any grade of mine below 85. My anthro 84.5 just isn't cutting it right now.

So, as you can imagine, I was pretty angry when I got my test back with a failing grade. I mean, I thought maybe I had a 75 (bad enough) but 49?? ME? I am the biggest control freak ever. I can't handle it. It was due to this feeling of out of control and disbelief that when I got into my car I made a rather large mistake: I told my mom about my test. She was pretty unhappy. sentences like "maybe I've been giving you too much freedom" and "This isn't good enough" and "This doesn't happen to you" were tossed at me.

The result? I don't know. Nothing so far; I've been going out a lot on the weekends lately and I will this weekend too and so far I'm still allowed. We'll see what happens though. I need to pick it up. Everything is finally catching up with me. I don't have anything left. And now I'm failing tests. This is not good.