There's too much of you/ and there's not enough of me

Today was my first lazy, sleep-in, nothing to do day of summer. I woke up at 9:30 when my chemistry teacher called me to ask about my textbook, which is still AWOL. It wasn't the best wake-up call ever (hear phone, jolt upright, blink twice, roll out of bed, stub toe, step on drawer sitting in the middle of the room, grab phone, drop phone, grab phone, croak "hello?"), I was strangely not all that thrown off by it being him on the phone. I guess this means I've been spending way too much time in the chem room.

After that I was awake, and lay around doing precious little all day. Read. Watch bad bad bad and boring TV, and ate junk food. And you know what? I was BORED. This led me to the following conclusion: I need a summer project. Something to work on, pass the time. Davis is my solution.

This summer, Davis and I have decided to make a zone together this summer! It is to be called "Three Word Title" and it will be epic. I'm so excited.

Here is something I spent an hour and a half on. Oh, facebook.

It's supposed to be of the picture of this picture of Nick and I by Dow's Lake:

Cause it's you and me/ and all of the people/ with nothin' to do, nothin' to lose

Lorien has gone to camp. She will have fun, I hope, but I will miss her. She came over on Friday night to hang out before she left. Our plan was to have a Grey's Anatomy marathon (I keep forgetting to lend her season 2) and stay up late chatting -- you know, the best part of a girl's night.

The plan changed a bit, however. I ended up spending the day with Nick and he tagged along to come to work with me. That, in the first place, was a bad idea. I was hoping it would be fun to have him there and we would hang out since he had, after all been with me all day, which was fun. But instead, he and Mike were thick as thieves and ignored me. Nick ended up coming back to my house and hanging out with Lorien and I for the evening.

We watched Grey's Anatomy and then ended up walking Nick halfway to where he was going, which had us stopping by Dow's Lake. I love going out walking at night -- it's too bad I'm not allowed, or whatever. He showed up the next morning at 6:30am and woke us up. Normally, I would have been annoyed, but you know what? I am going to miss all of them. Even a semi-crappy night with them ends up making me happy.

*Pictures taken by Lorien

How I know I'm so cool.

Today was my last exam (and there was much rejoicing!). I got six lab reports done this afternoon (and there was much rejoicing!). I bombed my chemistry exam (and there was mu-...)



Well, on the plus side, summer is here, and I tried my hardest.

Time, time ticking on me/ alone is the last place I wanted to be

The internet really is a weapon of mass distraction. I can procrastinate for hours by flipping through mindless facebook photo albums and play mahjong instead of doing my eight (oh my god... eight) lab reports or cramming for my anthro exam, which I will fail for sure. For sure. I don't know what it is lately, I just have so much trouble lately motivating myself. I directly blame senioritis. Because you know what? It's contagious. I hang out with grade 12s a lot, and now I have senioritis even though I'm not a senior. Coincidence? I think not. As Davis said, I'm now a druggie... without the drugs. I have no idea what she's on about, you'd have to ask her.

I missed the last Insight Theatre gathering. The party was this afternoon, and I missed it. I was at work. It just totally slipped my mind, and I feel terrible. I missed the last part of Insight Theatre. I will never see most of those people ever again. That makes me so incredibly sad.

That has been happenning to me more and more lately. The intense feeling that time is slipping by, slowly swallowing up moments and faces and throwing them to the wind to be scattered. And then that's it.

I am not one who likes to let go. Of anything. My security blanket from when I was little is still sitting in my room on a shelf. The heads of the first dozen roses Mike ever gave me are sitting in a vase next to the teddy bears he gave me for Valentine's Day. Deleting msn conversations is often painful for me. I'm just so so afraid of forgetting, afriad of losing this moment, because I don't know what the next one will hold.

Because of all this Friday was just one big ball of freak out. Friday was the last day of school, which meant the last day for all those wonderful, talented people I have idolized and gotten to know over the past three years and even more so over the past month. Friday is also the day when we get yearbooks and you know what that means... signatures. Yearbook signing is so stressful because I am afraid to miss someone. In grade six I made everyone in my class sign my yearbook, even just with their name (the boys mostly weren't interested) just so I could collect them all and go over them. Count the names, count the memories -- good and bad.

So now my yearbook is sitting next to me. The signature pages are full. I've barely even read the yearbook, I've only skimmed the messages from my friends. They've made me laugh, they've made me cry, they've made me look forward to next year, but most of all, they make me feel better, more secure. I know who I'm missing, and I will track them down and they will sign my yearbook. I had to add a page to fit more people in. More memories. More time.

If only a pair of scissors and tape could buy more time.

Sunshine on the window/ makes me happy/ like I should be

It just figured that that day I decide to go to anthropology, it's (pretty much) canceled. So I don't have to go anyway. I guess I'm just lucky.

Speaking of lucky, I was just thinking to myself "Hmm... I haven't watched 10 Things I Hate About You in a while, I should watch it again." when what was advertised on CityTV's nightly movie, but that movie. I think I shall watch it.

Here is the start of my list of things to do this summer. Maybe I don't have a job, but, gosh darnit, I will have a wonderful summer.

1. Pull out my water colours and paint a lot
2. Work on playing the guitar
3. Learn the banjo (maybe)
4. See friends, a lot.
5. Go to a cottage (I'm accepting invites now ;) )
6. Rent Season 1 of the OC and watch it.
7. Rent Weeds and watch it.

On being "different"

Friday night was cast party #2 for the cast of "A Pirate's Life". I was not actually in the musical (poor judgement call on my part) but I have been consistently skipping per 3 with a bunch of the grade 12s with period 3 spare, who were in the play.

Period three has been the joke period of my year. I missed it a lot for Insight Theatre, and, unlike math, I never really felt the need to catch up and work on it. Since I was doing well in the class, it never became an issue. A couple of weeks ago, I found out that a bunch of the grade 12s have per 3 spare and that was it. No more class for me. I've been to class only 4 days in the past 2 weeks. And you know what? I've really enjoyed it. The people I've been hanging out with are so nice and so much fun. It's really too bad that they are leaving in two months. Darn grads. But isn't that always the way with high school?

Due to this new "self appointed spare" I have been able to do some fun stuff, like going to Bridgehead lots and have a nice chill time in the middle of the day. And it has led to conversations like this one:

Kesha: Hey, Evey, you should come to Leaf Camp!
Lilly: Yeah, why aren't you coming to Leaf Camp?
Lina: You should come!
Me: when is it?
Kesha: Tomorrow [friday] night until Sunday afternoon.

So you know I went. I was up until 2am thursday night and sunday night to finish my summative for anthro, but it was so, so worth it. And I got to go to the second cast party.

Which leads me to the Birkenstocks story. Birkenstocks are the accepted footwear of hippies everywhere - at my school. So all the kids who fancy themselves different that way wear Birkenstocks. I used to wear them a lot, and bought a new pair this year, but never really got around to wearing them. So after Leaf Camp I pulled them out of my closet and I just happenned to be wearing them when I went to the party.

Bad idea, let me tell you. At midnight when my mom called me and was all "I'm outside to pick you up." and I said "be right out." what I meant was "I'll be out in ten minutes after I walk onto the back porch, search for my Birkenstocks in the dark, yell at the floor, the light, the world, jam my feet into dozens of shoes and then, finally, find my sandals." Which makes me wonder... if we're all wearing the same shoes... we can't be that different can we?

Last real day of school tomorrow. I can't believe next year I will be in grade 12. I mean, I'm used to hanging out with them, but it was always accepted that they were above me. But not anymore. How wierd.