La Canadienne Speaks

FYI -

2010-07-29T15:32:00.004-04:00

If you are looking for more of me, you can find me at these blogs:

In A Jar: www.inajarblog.blogspot.com
and
Hey Good Lookin': www.heygoodlookinblog.blogspot.com

thanks & enjoy :)

December is the darkest and June is the light/ but this empty bedroom won't make anything right

2007-12-19T17:44:00.000-05:00

So, every year, I have a calendar. It's one of those things we just do in our family. My mom gets two calendars -- both of Paris. One for her desk and one for the bathroom. We always have a calendar in the bathroom. It doesn't really make any sense to me, except that we used to always have one of kittens in there that my grandma would give us, but after she died we changed to Paris calendars. I remember sitting in the bathtub, when I was little and my sister and I still shared a bathtub, so this was way back. I always got stuck with the side with the tap on it, and had to lean around the thing, while my sister got the nice side. But from my side I got a better view of the calendar. The kittens were always cute, because kittens always are. I remember looking at it a lot. I guess that's why we had a calendar there.

My dad gets a calendar too, but like all things that he likes a lot, he keeps it at his office. His changed every year, but it usually something civil war related. My sister and I get whatever someone though we would like that year. My sister has one of kids rock-climbing. I have one of art of goddesses.

To be fair, this isn't this year's calendar. Somehow, last year, I ended up not getting a calendar. It just didn't happen. I'm not sure why. But I didn't. My mom had an extra one, so she put that up in my room, but it fell down and I never picked it up again. It's still kicking around behind my desk somewhere. If I cock my foot to the side right now, I think I can feel its spiral bind. But I'm not going to pick it up. I put the goddess one back up instead.

I didn't look at it much the first time. Haven't looked at it much this time either. It got stuck a February. February is a beautiful piece of Psyche with Cupid. I've kind of had this thing about Psyche ever since I went to the Louvre and saw this amazing statue of Psyche and Cupid, and fell in love with the thing. So this is where I stuck. Here is the picture in question, but I promise the colours look a lot better on my calendar than on this website.

So I have looked at that picture a lot. I never changed the page, or the year. I feel kind of guilty about it, like I've been doing something wrong. You change your calendar when the month changes. It's just what you do. But I've never been good at it. My mom would always do it for me because it'd be halfway through the next month and my calendar wouldn't have been flipped over. It kind of drove her nuts the way my messy bedroom does, but I say she should just close the door. This is a hard thing for my mother.

But seriously, why should we HAVE to change over the calendar? I'm sure there's a psychoanalysis that can be done on me about why I won't flip over my friggin calendar, but that's not what I mean. I just mean, if I like last month's picture better, why not leave it there? No one writes on calendars anymore, no matter how hard my mother tries to make me, I just write things in my own agenda and give her a heads up when necessairy. So calendars are just really there to be looked at, like the kittens in the bathtub. It brings art to the masses. Changeable art -- every month, something new! No committment to one piece. But maybe I've committed myself to February.

This is all to say, calendars are not really my thing. I only like them for their art.

Here is the statue from the Louvre, called L'amour de Psyche.

Paulie Bleeker is totally boss.

2007-12-17T16:56:00.000-05:00

If you do not understand what that title means, it's ok. I barely know myself. I would have a better understanding if I could go and see the new movie Juno, staring Michael Cera, Ellen Page, and others. However, so far I have been unable to find it playing ANYWHERE in Ottawa! Does anyone know where it's playing?

Stressfuk

2007-12-16T22:32:00.000-05:00

ewings73: my night just got a lot less stressfuk
ewings73: o
ewings73: lame.
LehrerBoggs: Yep.
LehrerBoggs: Why was your night stressful?
ewings73: stressfuk.
ewings73: an appropriate typo
LehrerBoggs: stressfuk?
ewings73: yes
ewings73: Im keeping it as a real word
ewings73: its stressful and fuck put together
ewings73: perfect

Go forth and use it, people.

LehrerBoggs: If you use it often enough it could enter mainstream usage.

I have summatives to do, Improv Gods!

2007-12-05T23:30:00.000-05:00

A quick update:

As of night three, Lisgar is still in first place!!! *does a really happy dance*.

So... come to finals. (knock on wood).

That is all, Baudelaire calls to me.

Evey

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger Improv

2007-12-04T21:41:00.000-05:00

So I know I haven't been on much, and quite frankly I don't have time to post right now
BUT!

On Monday, I competed with the improv team on the first night of play at Connor's Cup. Playing on the first night is so hard because then you have to wait ALL WEEK to see if you're in the top 5 who can make it to the finals.
We won our night with a 315. West Carleton won tonight with a 314. Which means we're still in the finals, and still number one! *Knocks on wood*

Finals will be help Friday Dec 14 at the museum of civilization. If Lisgar makes it, you should all come. I'd be happy, and so would you, because it'll be a great night of improv :)

www.ottawaimprov.com

Daft Dancing

2007-11-18T21:22:00.000-05:00

So, when Mike linked me to this video, I wondered just why my ex-boyfriend was sending me to a video of two scantily clad girls with boxes on their heads. But really people, give it a chance. Because this is pretty cool. Make me wish I were cool enough (bored enough) to come up with something like this. That and that I had their nicely sculpted thighs. Either or, really.

Harder Bodies Faster Stronger

Only for good

2007-11-18T00:54:00.001-05:00

I went out to a reading at Collected Works this evening, featuring a few very talented Ottawa authors. All you need to know is that I would gladly marry Ian Roy, and you should all bug Jennifer Whiteford to work on her next novel. Constantly. I want to read it.

Every time I go to a reading-type thing, I think about how much I'd love to do that. I mean, I'm not the most confident person, in terms of being confident in my writing, but to be in front of people like that, sharing your work with them, doing the banter thing... I love that. I had a little taste at coffehouse and loved it -- though not many people were watching or listening. But I enjoyed it. It didn't matter who was paying attention. It's like improv, but with more planning. Paradoxical, I know.

The other part of my evening was dinner and West Wing with Davis, who conveniently lives two blocks from Collected Works. Sounds like a good night to me.

Like a bird in an aviary

2007-11-16T19:56:00.000-05:00

If you, like me, tend to watch a lot of TV (guilty pleasure!) you have heard about the Writers' Guild of America strike (am I the only one who loves that the entertainment industry gets guilds? I want to join a guild!). Also like me, perhaps you have been casually saying "yeah! They deserve to have their demands met!" or something of the like, without actually knowing what is going on. My good friend Erin has written a great post explaining it all here. It has the added bonus of being tagged with the tags "doom", "the stupid" and "the intolerably stupid". Then watch this well made video on YouTube, grab your button makers and get to work!

Incidentally, if someone has a button maker they want to let me use, email me. I want to make some buttons.

Wind in the Wires

2007-11-16T11:30:00.000-05:00

Here is what happens when you wake up 30 teenagers at 4 am, tell them to go to school and put them in a cafeteria together. It's called Lisgar's United Way Pancake Breakfast.

4am wake-up, though not wonderful, is not a new concept to me. As a rower (cue Bailey yelling ("brrrap") we do this waking up at 4 thing three-four times a week during the month of May when we are on the water training and competing. But since it is now November, and not May, my poor body was not sure why, oh why, I was waking up at 4am.

When I finally rolled out of bed and down the stairs, and dressed myself in my "pyjamas"* it was 4:30. I just barely grabbed breakfast before I ran out to the door to my ride -- from Jake. Who was blasting Aqua. I love getting rides from my friends with G2s. We pulled up, parked, and went down into the caf. Where there wasn't much for us to do.

Well, I decided we should get right to work on the balloon arch. After some Erica vs Jake/the world drama, the arch came together quite nicely. Let me tell you, it looked completely professional, and it was just a few high school girls tying balloons to a ribbon.

We were almost done... when the piercing, screeching sound of the fire alarm sounded in the school. Everyone stopped what they were doing and walked over to City Hall to escape the building and let the firemen check to make sure everything was ok. No, we didn't call them -- they automatically get a call when a fire alarm at a school goes off. That's how you can tell if the admin planned a drill -- the firemen don't show up. If they do, you know someone is getting suspended. Or the school is on fire.

All was righted quickly enough, and the main school alarm was turned off, so we were let back inside. Only, the cafeteria alarm, separate from the other school alarms, wouldn't turn off. The poor firemen wandered around for half an hour, Ms Gledhill in tow, looking for the shut off switch. We were about to go nuts from the noise by the time they go it off -- after guests had started arriving.

Another side effect of the fire alarm (thank you to the griddles in the kitchen where someting was burning) was that we were incredibly behind on cooking everything. There was a forty minute line just to get the food, but then when the thing ended, we had loads left over. So I got to eat lots of pancakes. Mmmm.

******

It was my birthday yesterday! Birthdays are a huge deal at my house, and always have been. Everyone goes all out. My sister made me crepes for breakfast as well as biscotti, which were part of my present. My mom made me a wonderful birthday dinner (give me a tub of tomato and feta salad and I will die happy) and, as is our way, spoiled me with presents. Right now I'm listening to my new Patrick Wolf (thank you Kevin Lu!) with my new speakers (Mom: There were these ones and another set. The other set were better quality, but these ones have their own travel case. Evey: Ohh! It zips up!) while clicking with my new mouse. And wearing a new Tshirt. How lucky, lucky am I.

*It was also pyjama day. I wore sweat pants over pyjama pants and wore them sagged down so I looked like a teenage boy, and let me tell you, you actually can't walk like that.

Magical Desert Fox

2007-11-14T00:37:00.000-05:00

I took a mostly sick day yesterday.

Yesterday I went to school, but by third period I had a definite fever and felt awful. I stuck it out through improv practice until 5, but I wasn't doing so hot, so I took a day off. Sleeping until 10:30 did surprisingly little, unfortunately, as I still feel super sick.

I did head in to school for improv practice. We were to have our pre-Connors Cup training session with KY. Now, I bet there were quite a few things in that last sentence many of you didn't understand. I'll elaborate. Connor's Cup is an improv competition, totally separate from the official regionals/nationals and named for Ottawa's regional co-director and improv legend Al Connors. The training session is something every team gets before the Cup, run with three other teams, to make sure all the teams know how to improvise. Finally, KY is Katherine Young, head judge, regional co-director and COG volunteer of 11 years.

Now that you're in the know, I'll go on. These training sessions are fine, but Lisgar doesn't usually go, because we're Lisgar, and we usually don't go out for Connor's Cup (last year we threw together one team 2 days before and one team the day of) but since most of our team is in grade twelve, we get one shot. So we all want to make the most of it, especially when it comes to Connor's Cup. This year's team is all new and Lisgar has a reputation, so we all want to come out with a bang.

So. Training session. We showed up there, ready to be among our peers, people as nuts and exciting and into improv as we are. Jimmy members were a little stressed because we haven't really been feeling it lately, and we want to pwn. We were the same night as Brookfield and Immaculata, and almost everyone was new to improv. Great! We're all on the same level. Things started off well, with minor confusion about taking shoes off (KY asked us to take our shoes off. Lisgar already had all their shoes off, but Brookfield got very confused and complained about the smell a lot).

So, what happenned was that Lisgar did super well. We knew our stuff, we made good scenes, and I got to stand up in front of everyone and make a scene that was exactly what KY wanted -- and she nicknamed me "glasses" because she likes mine. It's true that this was to practice and learn, but it felt good to know what I was doing. Improv period felt good.

At the end of the night, we split into our teams. I knelt down next to Ms K, and felt something wierd going on with my knee. Or rather, behind my knee. Back up to earlier that day when I was pulling on my jeans. I felt something wierd as I put them on, but then it seemed to be fine, so I went on with my day. Jump back to the improv workshop. I reach up my pantleg... and pull out yesterday's underwear. I turned very, very red while silently thanking God that they hadn't fallen out while I was walking... or on stage. In front of Brookfield. IN FRONT OF KY.

I probably would have gotten a different nickname...

No! Not that song!

2007-11-12T11:39:00.000-05:00

I will start off today's post with a fine OOC*:

Student 1 (walking into Ms A's room): Why is it so cold in here?
Student 2: They have to keep Ms A's heart at its natural temperature.
A (nodding, impressed): Yeah. Good one.

Now Ms A is not exactly the world's most predictable teacher. She latches on to random things, yells often, and gets very worked up. She often seems personally offended by her students/society/something we say. She is a perfect old woman, except younger.

She has decided that she doesn't like me. I have too much attitude. I express opinions. I'm disrespectful. Etc. Well, I hate to break it to you Ms A, but I am not like this at all in any of my other classes. I'm reserved (unless someone is being an idiot and I need to tell them to shut up), I don't yell things, I don't disagree with everything the teacher says. No, miss, it's pretty much just you. I disagree just for the sake of disagreeing because I don't like you very much.* I'm sorry. If you respected me more, I might return the sentiment. But instead I disagree, something I am incredibly good at, might I remind you, as I am a teenager and it's practically a sport for us. So really, you don't want to try to take me down. I will be the clear winner.

There's a big division at my school, between the new Ms A and the old, much beloved Mr Hodgson (old and new to the school, not in age). The Hodge is a Lisgar legend. Everyone loves him, everyone wants to be in his classes, everyone defends him (so it sucks to be the one in like 50 who doesn't like him. It happens, though rarely). We love how he teaches -- the yelling, the dancing around, the clear passion for the texts.

Ms A is totally different. She is analytical, she structures the hell out of everything, and she has crazy idea about theme. She confuses the hell out of students who already took AP Writer's Craft. Everyone just wants their Mr Hodgson back. Hence the division. We disagree with her, we dislike her insane moods and really, we just want theme back to the way it was when it didn't have to be a cause and effect or the moral of the story and we understood it. It seems like not much to ask.

So I suffer through her class and am actually pulling an 89 (yes!). Let's hope I can keep my marks high until I get to my dream semester next -- Mr Hodgson all morning.

* OOC is a section of the Lisgarwrite in which we print things teacher have said. Silly things.

Tell me that you'll open your eyes

2007-11-08T10:30:00.000-05:00

There was this add that used to be on TV when I was younger that was on all the time. It ended up driving me nuts and it was probably the first commercial my sister ever memorized and wouldn't stop repeating (luckily she has now moved on to singing songs, and her musical taste is what I would call Good Top Forty, so that's better than singing the subway adds).

This add featured various children doing various activities. The commercial's line was "What's your thing?" There were male ballet dancers, kids with bugs, kids doing magic tricks and one kid who could make T-rex noises, which my eight-year-old self thought was pretty cool. It ended with the kids says "Nobody's good at everything, but everybody's good at something. What's your thing?" Watching this commercial, I'd mentally peruse the various classes and activities I was enrolled in (ballet, tap, gymnastics, art class, etc.) and wonder what my thing was. I liked doing all those things, but I didn't feel that any of them were my "thing". Years later, I have found my thing.

If you read my blog with any regularity, you are familiar with the concept of improv and its constant presence in my life, as well as my feeling of awe when I watch it. So this year, I tried out for the improv team, The Improv Team, Jimmy, of the Ligsar Improv Dynasty. I felt like the kid who's staying up to watch Grown-Up TV with her parents and is afraid she'll be asked to leave at any moment. A pretender, a poser. But I tried out anyway, because it made me feel so good to do improv. Last Thursday, the list went up... and I was on it. I jumped up and down, I screamed, I yelled I cried... I had to read the list a few times to be sure. But my name was really there.

Last night, we had our first team rehearsal. Both Jimmy and Jimbo, the B team, were there, and Ms K sent Jimbo out in to the other room accompanied by former team member Ben Farrow to work separately. When they left, suddenly the feeling in the room changed. The eight of us looked at one another, and there was in incredibly feeling of This is it. This is it. It's us. The group felt so small and so tight, and I just felt this incredible energy in the room. During the practice, Ms K told us "improvise", no prompt, no theme. And we did it. We just... did it. For an hour. No stress, no worrying about anything else, no thoughts of anything but that moment and those people and that feeling. It was easily the most amazing feeling of my life.

After the practice, I was left waiting for my ride and chatting with Ms K. "Did you feel it?" I asked her. "It was so amazing," was her reply. There's a word in french, s'extasier, which is basically complete ecstasy as a verb. To enter into ecstasy. That is how I feel about improv. Je m'extasie. I have found my thing.

Et puis...

2007-11-06T10:27:00.000-05:00

This is obviously the best way to spend my spare.

I am just back from a wonderful weekend in Quebec City with my mother. I bet after reading those words many of you gasped and are now in shock. Words like "How?" and "Why?" are now flashing through your minds, quickly followed by "What's wrong with her?". I can assure all of you however, that I have not lost my mind, I actually did have a wonderful time spending every waking moment with my mother for 72 hours. I know, I was shocked too.

Last year at Christmas time, I went to a Christmas party for my mom's office, the SOGC. They have a raffle every year for all the employees with things donated by the various suppliers the SOGC works with. There are enough prizes for everyone, but some are a lot better than others. Since I had worked at the sexulalityandu.ca booth for them, I got my name entered in the draw, and I won a two night stay at any Fairmont Hotel in the Quebec region. So. Off to Quebec City. It was a pretty action packed weekend, so I'll share with you the best story: the story of the Separatist Tourguide.

One thing we decided we really wanted to do while we were there was a walking tour of the Old City. We signed ourselves up for a tour and met up with the guide at the visitors' centre. The guide was a fairly normal looking guy with a comb-over, no fleur-de-lis on his forehead or prominently displayed Separatist Club badge. We didn't notice anything until the tour guide started the tour with a good five minute rant about Parks Canada, the federal government and english speakers everywhere. Apparently, les quebecois are the only ones who really know canadian history, and the federal government is spreading lies about the history of Canada to suit their own purposes. Or something. I stopped listening part way through and pretended to take a picture so I could turn away and laugh.

Ok, so I do not hate les quebecois. I love their language, and am a huge poutine fan (gross but true), and they, as everyone, deserve respect. But honestly people, this guy was hilarious. At least 5 or 6 times he went off on to tangents that would last for minutes. At one point, he even talked about how "silly" Inuit (or as he said, "eskimo") words are. That was less funny that it was incredibly rude and awful, but for the most part he was comic relief more than anything.

And for more comic relief, here is me next to Rene Levesque. Separatist Tour Guide almost had a heart attack when he saw us taking this picture.

Augustine, my Augustine

2007-10-30T16:30:00.000-04:00

Below, in the centre column, is my to-do list*:

You see why I have been neglecting you? Not that anyone has been pestering me or anything...

Lately, I seem to be busy and a half. It's nuts. I work all night straight, and I still don't get everything done, and what makes it worse is that I'm getting sick of it. While it may seem fun to work sans cesse**, really, I'm kind of getting sick of it. I would rather veg and relax and get to sleep before 1am. The stress of busy has been getting so bad, that Halloween, one of my favourite times of year, has become a hinderance I'd rather be rid of. I don't even have a costume. But I have been a very good girl. I actually spend my spares in the library! Doing homework! Instead of at Dunn's, getting breakfast, or at Rideau, or lying around doing shit all in the airport lounge***.

I did take a break this weekend, on Saturday night. Saturday night was Saunders farm/costume party night. Every October, for a few years now, I get to go to Saunders Farm. I tried to go Thanksgiving weekend, but unfortunately, after the 45 minute drive out there, we discovered that it was closed. So, this weekend was take two. And let me tell you... I had a ton of fun.

Saunders Farm is best done with people who have never been. While I have done most of these attractions many times before, others have not, and it's almost as fun to see what they do. For instance, Jessica turned out to be the highlight of our evening, as she screamed more than anyone I've ever seen as Saunders. I think everyone in the whole place was out to scare her, because everything always happenned to her. I was very impressed with how they've jazzed up the after-dark part. The Hayride has improved, except for the unfortunate decay of the famous T-rex which is so old that he doesn't move forward at the wagon anymore. Bummer, I know.

The best change was the addition of people wandering around as zombies. Are they ever CREEPY! When we went through the new "Field of Screams" I was attacked and chased at the end by one of the zombies. He even chased me out of the maze and across the courtyard, until I bumped into another zombie, who grabbed me. I was so scared I couldn't see straight. Once I got over the scared part, I realized what an awesome job they do. They are always in character, following people, scaring them, staring at you until you look beside you and see a zombie staring at you, and you scream and hide behind your friend's boyfriend... That job is the one reason I wished I lived in Munster -- so I could work at Saunders Farm as a zombie. I'll put that down on my list of dream jobs, right after "dead, rotting corpse" on CSI.

* Other things you can see in this picture include a motivational penguin quote, a silly teacher quote for the Lisgarwrite and my last minute studying for my Tess of the D'Urbervilles test today (which I aced despirte not having read half the book).
**I'm so tired that I can't think of the word in English. It's moments like these that my extensive french training from a very young age can backfire and freak me out.
***No, it's true we have an airport lounge in my school. Same annoying, uncomfortable chairs.

There's a fire just waiting for Fuel

2007-10-14T22:20:00.000-04:00

So... maybe I fell off the face of bloggerdom a little bit. For like, a week. It happens. I'm sorry. I hope you will take out any anger and/or frusteration on inanimate objects or irritating coworkers and read my blog despite the emergence of these feelings.

Last week, Kirsten came to live at my house for a week. Kirsten and I have been friends since grade nine and she often spends lots of time at my house with the "normal" family, but she's never officially been staying here longer than one night. Her family is her dad who has lots of issues of his own and is not the nicest or most supportive of fathers. So Kirsten decided she needs to move out for a while, and she needed a place, so, my house it was.

I was pretty worried since she lives mostly rule-free at her house, whereas my house has rules. Real ones with consequences and guilt and everything. I was worried about getting stuck between my mom and my friend. Luckily, Kirsten seemed to have a great time chez moi and her cat allergies only kicked in during her last night here. (I have three cats... Benedryl stays in our medicine drawer at all times. Right... the medecine drawer. That's another story.)

I spent a lot of time during this stay of Kirsten's hanging out with her. To be fair, I did get most of my homework done, I just spent way less time checking my email, and, well, blogging. Instead we listened to music and painted -- Kirsten painted while I failed at painting. I can do trees, but that's pretty much it. I think I'll stick to writing.

The other fun thing that happenned this week was coffeehouse. LEAF organises a sort of planned open mic type event twice a year, and one was last Friday. These are famous for their funny acts, cool people, and general awesomeness. Unfortunately, a big chunk of that awesome jsut graduated, so this coffeehouse was not the best. It has its amazing moments (um... acoustic "Umbrella" by Rhianna? With dancers with umbrellas? Awesome.) but many were less good, mostly caused by the lack of mics that worked (AVAs talent graduated as well).

Most exciting part for ME and therefor for YOU was that I finally fulfilled my dream of being on stage at coffeehouse. I have pictures that would accompany this post if only they did not involve my double chin. But anyway, I read some of my favourite poems. I wore my hot new dress and I got my poet on in a beret and read. Now, these were not MY poems, which is slightly less exciting, but I love them, and it was a reading, so it was exciting for me. I read "Nothing Gold Can Stay" by Robert Frost first, then I read a piece by a very gifted friend of mine, Matt McCarren (McC) called "In These Arms" (one of my favourite poems ever. And it was written by a high school boy. I feel like the world should end now). My last one was an amazing spoken word piece by Ani Difranco called "Fuel". Spoken word is something I'd like to get into more. There's something about it that appeals to me, and my style seems to lend itself well to it, which is exciting because in french class we're having a workship with Oni the Haitian Sensation about writing slam poetry type stuff in French. Magnifique, non?

PS: Dear Ontario: McGuinty? AGAIN? Really guys? Come on.

Take me, Take me to the riot/ and let me stay

2007-09-30T22:37:00.000-04:00

At the beginning of this year something happenned. I started on a long journey that's less like a forward motion and more like freefalling. This journey is called Applying to University.

Applying to University is a scary experience. It involves many parts, which include (but are not limited to) Googling Universities, Visiting University Fairs, Visiting Universities, Freaking Out About Grades, Hounding Teachers for Recommendation Letters, and, the best one, Applying for Scholarships.

Having tackled a bunch of these already, tonight I decided to start in on Applying for Scholarships. As any student might, I mosied on over to studentawards.com, filled out their extensive survey and pressed "go" to match me up with scholarships I might be interested in.

And I was confronted with a loooong list. There were a few that I was able to count out and there are about 5 that are the same "community involvment" thing, which means work once for many things. You know, your general, run of the mill "an essay of 500 words [how is that considered and essay? So short!] about community involvment(s)". And then there was one that was more exciting.

The CBC Literary Awards. Basically, you submit poetry (1000-2000 words) or a short story or piece of creative nonfiction (both 2000-2500 words) and you can win lots of money to put toward school. Sounds good yes? Maybe not. See, much as I enjoy reading, I have nothing to submit. Bummer. Until my mother suggests I try something from my blog.

This is an interesting idea. Something from my blog... but my blog is just a place where I write for fun about my day and my opinions and... hey wait, doesn't that fit into creative nonfiction? I guess so. So I'm going to beef up a piece I've already written (by adding about 1500 words) and submitting that. I think. I don't know if that's what they want though. Will it be good enough? Is it appropriate to submit a blog piece to a scholarship application? Most importantly, does anyone want to help me with this thing???

So, I'm a little stressed and alone. This thing is due Nov 1 (along with every other application, apparently) and I'm not sure I'll be ready by then. Plus, even if I am, is it worth it when I most likely won't win? So many questions running around my head.

Note: If anyone caught the Japanese Grand Prix last night/this morning, they were lucky. It was EPIC. And heartbreaking. Honestly the best F1 race I've ever seen.

Stick to the B.E.A.T. / Get ready to ignite

2007-09-27T00:36:00.000-04:00

Today I had the privilege to go and see a collaboration between the NAC and the Royal Shakespeare Company of England. This collaboration is Margaret Atwood's new play (based off the book) The Penelopiad. It's is a play that tells Penelope's side of the story of The Odyssey. Penelope tells the story of her marriage to Odysseus, and how she fell in love with him and then recounts the story the Odyssey skims over: the story of Penelope's long years of wait in Ithica with her twelve handmaids. Atwood takes a character with little depth in the Odyssey and breathes life into her, creating a new intelligent, funny, scared, hopeful woman where there was no detail before.

As I said, this was put on by the RSC and the NAC together. The cast is mostly from the RSC, with a few from Canada. They worked on the play even as Atwood was finishing it and it's the first production. It is also a women-only cast. All characters were played by the twelve handmaids using costume changes, sometimes changes on stage. The lighting was great, the actors were amazing and though certain uptight CBC critics didn't like parts of it (if you listen to CBC1, you know who I'm talking about) I have one thing to say about it:

It was fucking AMAZING.

Easily my favourite stage show I've ever seen. I love love love love love love loved it. Sure Atwood has a tendancy to add pretentiousness in here and there, but it really didn't affect the production as a whole. It really was a breathtaking piece.

Walking back from the NAC, everyone had great things to say about the show and how good it was. Some are of the anti-Atwood mind frame, but they still really liked it. I was dicussing the play with a friend and the two drama teachers Ms K and Ms Szeles, aka, Hellish-teacher-I-had-last-year. I was saying how much I LOVED it and my friend teasingly said "yes, but you are Evey and you're a feminist."

Ms Szeles: Oh Evey, is that so? You're something of a feminist?

Me: Well, Ms Szeles, do you support equal rights for women and men?

Ms Szles: Yes...

Me: Then you're a feminist too.

Thank you Tomato Nation for that response.

So seriously guys, go see it.

Il faudra que je cours jusqu'au bout

2007-09-25T23:36:00.000-04:00

When you walk into French class and hear that you will be working on a story that everyone but you has read and that you need the book you forgot at home (while attempting to catch up to everyone else), you start the get the feeling french class isn't going to go well that day. It's a pretty valid assumption. It's one I made today about 10 minutes into french class.

"Well why did you come to my class, then, if you did not have your book?" This was the answer to "Miss, may I borrow an extra copy of the anthology please?" (I never did get one). I sat down and instead stared at my feet for 20 minutes (a summer of Birkenstocks means my feet look more like the barnacles on Orli's dad's face in Pirates than parts of my body. That is a whole other story to be told later on. Sounds thrilling, I know.)

Anyway. The point of the exercises was to try, in a fictional court setting, the main character of the story to see if he had committed any crimes (he was in fact the victim of a society that forced him into such situations, but I only learned this later). I was on the defense side. The prosecution was much better organised. The only direction from the teacher was "Use only what is in the text".

Well, the prosecution was enthusiastic, but then stepped all over themselves. They made up witnesses, admitted stealing was ok, and their lead prosecutor didn't speak french. Our side was doing pretty well, aided by me, yelling out random things like "They just said stealing was ok!" and "That's not from the text! I object!" and "That lawyer can't speak french! She obviously has no idea what she's talking about!"

In the end, the judge found the character not guilty on all counts, and listed my various (loud) points as their reasons. So the moral of this story is you don't have to know anything in order to win. You just need to yell louder than anyone else.

Those teenage hopes who have tears in their eyes/ too scared to own up to one little lie

2007-09-22T16:25:00.000-04:00

Today has been living up to its full potential of awesome, so far.

Waking up groggy (thanks to loud friends of roommate) and with a scratchy throat, I had my doubts. But things got better when I got to Ladyfest. After spending all the money from my piggybank at the craftfair, I headed downstairs for the workshop on self-publishing.

Now I must say, I was pretty excited. My two favourite bloggers doing a workshop together about blogging was pretty much the best thing ever. I was also pretty intimidated. I mean, sure, I blog, but it's more of a, "Hey friends, read about my life!" deal than, you know, real writing. So going there to hear them talk about how they blog felt a little like ripping off bandaid to expose new skin. You really want to let the thing breath, but the skin is all pinky and pale. And scared. Ok, so now I'm personifying skin. That's my cue to move on.

So anyway, the workshop was really good. Jen and Megan brought up some really interesting things I hadn't thought about (like long-armed staplers....) Just hearing about their experiences blogging and zine-ing made me feel more like a "real" blogger, like the ones I read. Oh, and I am so getting a zine together. I would love that so so much. It would deeply please the tactile part of me that loves little booklets.

One thing Jen said really stuck with me, which I will now impart to you in paraphrased format. It was something like, give value to what you write, blogs, zines, anything. I guess that's something I should work on. But I know that I will. I realized how much I love writing, in any form. But here's the thing: People say I'm a good writer (which is flattering, thank you) but I don't know if I understand that. Not because of that low confidence thing, but more because I feel like to be good at something, it has to be really hard for you. For instance, to become a concert violinist, you have to practice for hours a day for years and years. To be an amazing athlete, you have to train all the time. I don't train at writing... I just write. So I feel like it can't be that good, since I don't work at it. I mostly just jumble words around in my head until I like the way they sound and then I write them down. Does that really count as a creative process?

Well, whether it does or not doesn't really matter because I know I like doing this a lot, and I think I'll keep doing it. After all, to be good at something, you have to practice, right?

Anyway, after the workshop I got Jen to sign her book for me and I chatted with them a little, which was in of itself a little surreal. I mean, these people whom I read about and whom I consider Really Good Writers talking to me. About writing. I hope I'll be a Really Good Writer some day too.

My favourite moment of the afternoon: During the part about blogging communities, Jen pointed to me and said "That's how we know Evey!" That is probably the closest I ever felt to bring a rockstar. I'm a huge nerd.

Ok, I'm off to find a long-armed stapler and a statcounter for my blog.

All we get is Dead Disco/ dead punk, dead rock and roll...

2007-09-20T22:49:00.000-04:00

Just a note to all of you who live in Ottawa:

This weekend is fulfilling its quote of awesome. Not only is there Walk For Life on Saturday night, but also Ladyfest Ottawa is this weekend, so head over to Jack Purcell on Saturday to check out the craftfair and some great workshops (just so long as you don't steal my spot at "Write Here, Write Now: A Guide to Zines, Blogs and Self-Publishing, run by the Ottawa blogosphere's very own Jen and Megan). Not excuses -- go have a great weekend.

Ce souverain des coeurs, cette ame de notre ame

2007-09-10T20:12:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone.

For the past couple days I've been feeling kind of down. Maybe it's the going back to school, maybe it's the friends being away; I'm not sure. I do know I'm really stressed out and have about a million things to do and not enough time to do them in. All I want to do is get things DONE so I don't have to worry, but there's so much I ignore it instead. I'm kind of worried I'm going to drown in all this.

So, if you have a minute, say hi to me. I'm feeling kind of lonely and hearing from people who care is nice. Knowing nice people have got my back makes me feel so much better. I love you all! (Except you Davis. I'm kidding, of course). I'm sorry if I don't blog a lot in the next little while.

We don't give you homework because we think you're bored at night.

2007-09-05T20:34:00.000-04:00

I am already having such a hard time feeling motivated to work. Student's Council and Lisgarwrite are fine, I'm full speed ahead on those. Drama? Awesome. But then there's the hardcore french class and AP english. I'm actually incredibly worried right now. For some reason, I just can't get myself moving forward. These courses aren't motivating me, at all. Any advice?

I did manage to get myself motivated enough to bike down to Dave's Bike Dump on Catherine's to get my new bike tweaked (it's the emo bike; it whines as I bike along. Also, my kickstand was falling off). Kirsten was a big part of getting me to actually go. She bikes a lot and to her it was no big deal to just go there. I totally agree -- it's about a 10 minute bike ride to Dave's Bike Dump. However, I am unmotivated and used to ignoring problems until they go away. Sometimes they do, but more often than not, as I'm coming to learn, they do not. Sigh. Also, the guys down at Dave's Bike Dump are great. Really nice guys. As red-haired-braid guy said, "I get to bike and ski for a living. Sometimes I'm so fucking lucky, I can't believe how lucky I am... not going to get rich this way, but I have a fucking great life." You know, that sounds pretty good to me. I don't need to get rich and famous one day, I'd just like to have enough to get by and enjoy life, and enjoy doing it.

In other news, I just finished "The Birth House" by Ami McKay. I would like to pass this along to all of you who haven't read it. Erin, I especially think you should read it. And it takes place in Canada, eh?

Summer dreams, ripped at the seams/ but oh...

2007-09-01T22:07:00.000-04:00

This summer has been a very different summer. Usually I welcome the long lazy days of summer when I don't have to worry about homework or getting up or... anything, really. But summer was just so hot. So gasping for breath, drowning in sweat, feeling irritable and annoyed all the time HOT. Plus, I never ended up seeing any of my friends, and I missed people after two months with my (lovely) family. So when autumn showed up with its new clothes and new school supplies (I'll do homework in a pretty new notebook) and mid-teen daytime highs (celcius, y'all), I'd be like, "oh good friend, where have you been???"

But then this summer with its friends, its cooler temperature, its feeling of blissful teenage freedom... I would not trade this summer for anything. Especially not for waking up and doing homework. Not. Cool. At. All. Doesn't help that the stress is already up to my eyeballs.

Last night was such an example of my wonderful summer. Good friends, hanging out and when we get too tired, to the park down the street. For some reason, playgrounds are just as good when you're older.

So back to school? Umm... could I just get the clothes and the notebooks and stay home?

love in our summer skin - Pt. 2

2007-08-30T01:03:00.000-04:00

Here's part two, which will be more fun if you read part one (scroll down).

So really, women, this hating our bodies thing? Let's cut it out. It's not as if constantly complaining or fishing for compliments is fun, and it certainly isn't a gay old time to spend an hour trying to get dressed to make ourselves appear thinner. Sooner or later we should figure out how it's a lot easier to just love what you've got.

You know who figured this out faster than I am? The cool chicks at (the late) Jane magazine. If anyone else picked up their last ever issue, they'll know what I'm talking about. August is their "naked issue" -- and this one certainly didn't dissappoint (80% more naked than last year!). I loved the photo piece of various female actors hanging out naked. Now, their naughty bits were covered, but it didn't take away from the piece. Imagine! Women proudly showing off their bodies -- the parts they love and the parts that maybe they'd rather cover with clothes. But the truth was, not one of them looked bad. Now, that nagging voice in my head points out lighting and the possible use of retouching, but no one was retouched to look perfect, so I'll get over it. Their bodies had soft curves and had structure. They looked real. And proud.

Another article I loved (both for its content and its writing -- I laughed out loud a few times while reading it) was one about naked yoga. Young and old, hanging out on rooftops in downtown, doing yoga naked. Connecting with nature (well, as much as you can downtown, I guess) and celebrating their bodies. I am SO down with that. The author said something I really like: "something about reducing myself to a soul covered in flesh... I don't feel uncomfortable. In the outside world I spend much time wishing I were more slender, but here, I don't feel that way at all." Doesn't that sound good?

This issue of Jane magazine came at a perfect time for me. I have been working harder to appreciate what I've got and not wish for a different body, because you know what? THIS is me and you know what? I'm pretty awesome. What this body can do never stops amazing me. Walking, running, growing, healing, sleeping, dreaming, dancing... all the things my body does for me, I feel like I should appreciate it more. It's a gift, every curve, every inch, every part is a gift.

So I've been working on appreciating it. First thing I did? Pitched those uncomfortable, over padded, pinch more and more and the day goes on, good for nothing bras. Because, really, the biggest plus to having a small chest is that I can forgo the padding and wire for bras that don't make me irritable and pained. And I am not going back. Nuh-uh. My body is much happier this way. And when my body is happy, so am I.

Chillin'

2007-08-27T20:41:00.001-04:00

How every Sunday night should be.

The night starts here, the night starts here/ forget your name, forget your fear

2007-08-26T21:33:00.000-04:00

Pt 2 of that other thing is coming later. But here to interrupt is this account of my day!

While waking up at 7:30am on a Sunday morning may not seem like a choice thing to be doing, this is what I did this morning. After going to sleep at 2, I woke up at 7:30 (still more sleep than average this summer, but I guess that's part of the problem), and I hit the snooze button. This, however had no effect as it was not my alarm that had woken me up, but my father in the doorway. "It's 7:30," he told me simply from the doorway. I think I said something eloquent like "Mmmmph" without opening my eyes while really I meant "What in Heaven's name are you doing waking me up at SEVEN THIRTY on a Sunda- oh. right. I asked you to wake me up."

I have really great ideas sometimes.

And here's the thing: even though I was dead tired and still mostly asleep, I dragged my butt out of bed and downstairs to the couch, my bed-substitute, in time for the 8 o'clock start. Start of what? you may ask. Why, let's see: Sunday morning, in the summer, 8am start = F1 season. Turkish Grand Prix. That's right: car racing. My dad and I have been watching car racing for as long as I can remember. Nascar, Indy car, F1... I know 'em all, I've seem 'em all. Sundays after church, or on days when I was allowed to stay home from church, I'd sit on the white couch in my living room, with my dad on the other couch and we'd watch cars of various shapes and sizes zoom around tracks. Meanwhile, my mom would be cooking Sunday dinner as well as the usual Sunday Night Special Desert and my sister would be helping her. It was Dad Time, and I loved every minute of it.

Gradually, as I've gotten older, we've done this less and less. I stopped watching Nascar on Sunday afternoons because I often have homework, or plans, and besides, I have no patience for Nascar anyway (they're pussies. They stop the race the second a little rain falls!). The mornings were harder and harder to wake up for because of my later Saturday nights, but everyone now and then, in the summer, during F1 season, I drag myself out of bed and sit in the living room with my dad and watch F1, which was always my favourite. Sure, I may be half asleep and I wake up and blindly agree with whatever my dad just said, but he still loves me being there. And I love being with him. Dad Time. Just me and him, while the rest of the house sleeps.

The rest of my day was pretty good too. I worked, and then found 74 dollars in chapters cards, bought myself two books and a scarf (yes, a scarf) and then saw the Nanny Diaries with my godmother. It was, by the way, a great movie. I recommend it to everyone. I also still love Scarlett Johansson, and was very happy to see that she had obviously raided my closet for this movie.

If you're bored tonight, give me a call. I'm going out around 11:30 to watch from some shooting stars. Hope to see you there.

love in our summer skin - Pt. 1

2007-08-24T21:58:00.000-04:00

As a teenage girl, I spend a lot of time being told how much I should hate my body. Not just the media (yeah, ok I'll lay off for a second... that's a whole other blog post), but also by my peers. Loving your body just isn't cool. I remember one scene in Mean Girls, the first time the new girl, Cady, hangs out with the Plastics. Everyone is hanging out in the classic teen girl bedroom, and suddenly, as if a sudden alarm has gone off, all the girls congregate in front of the mirror and start pointing out their flaws. "My hair is totally wierd", "I have man shoulders", "My nailbeds suck"; the three girls completely pick apart their bodies. When Cady doesn't join in, they all prompt her to do so. That scene, though short, was one of the most true to life, because this happens all the time. Anywhere girls are hanging out this will happen. One girl starts with "I am so bloated today." and soon everyone else joins in. And not only do they join in, but they deny the other's problems ("You're so thin! What are you talking about?"). This may sound like a good thing, but really it is a put down. Your thing isn't as bad as my thing. My thing is worse. You aren't good enough at being unnattractive. I deserve more pity. On and on and on.

The inevitable result of this is that girls hate their naked bodies. Sure, we prance around in the changerooms after gym class grade 7, but only long enough to show the other girls that we can suck in our guts and rock our new training bras. In the changerooms at the Y we stare (without staring) at the old women who let it all hang out in the showers. How can they do this? we wonder, How can they stand to let people see... everything? And, uh, they sag like, a lot. Like, omg. How can they do it? How can they stand themselves? We scoff, we roll our eyes, we even giggle some, but there isn't one of us who doesn't envies the way they are totally comfortable in their own skin.

Me and my body have had our ups and downs, emotionally, and, well, physically. I remember from the time I was in fifth grade and probably even before, standing naked in front of my bedroom mirror, sucking in my stomach. Loves: lips, feet, legs, back. Less than love: stubby fingers, round cheeks, squinty eyes, let's-not-even-talk-about-them breasts, and, of course, the stomach. Number one enemy of the state. I was always kind of one of the chubbier girls in the class. "Puppy fat", it was always called, but I never got that. Puppies = cute. My stomach... not so much.

I never really dealt with my body-hate, my body dealt with it for me. Two things happenned: first, I grew. I stretched out, my weight redistributed itself and people started saying "Oh my goodness! Evey, you're so thin!". The other thing that happenned was that I joined rugby and spent the run-up to swimsuit season running up and down a field 2 hours a day, 4 days a week. It was going good. Since then my weight has been up and down (more up than down lately), which is totally normal. I'm not one of the thinnest girls in my class, but I'm not overweight, and I'm hoping that one day I can accept that.

Took a step back, couldn't read the signs/ Cross the plains till they start to climb

2007-08-08T17:19:00.000-04:00

2/3 of the way through my trip to Indiana, and I am remembering why I love my cousins so much. Sure, they drive me totally nuts sometimes, but I love them so much. So much silly. They are my older brothers, and it's quite regrettable that I only get to see them once a year.

Today we went to the fair! We sang the fair song. If you don't know this song, just remember the song:

We're goin' to the zoo, zoo, zoo
How about you? you? you?
You can come too, too, too,
We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo

and then you ask people what they saw at the zoo and what sound it made... it's a fun silly song to sing in the car. We adapt it to our needs, changing the rhymes as we need to (We're going to the beach, Gonna eat a peach, Watch out for the leech...) And in this case, the fair! Amy thought we were nuts, we sang songs the whole way home. First, the regular car/camp songs and then we moved on to Broadway stuff (Elephant Love Medley! Guys vs Girls!)

So the fair was so much fun. We didn't actually travel a great distance, but we did tons of stuff. We ate honey ice cream (Jonah, reading ingredients: "Guys, the only thing there's less of in here than honey is something called "stabilizer". Who knew honey was so unstable?"), we saw a gourd turned into a whale and we discovered Erin's family secret (me: "ok, who knew that Erin had a farm? I didn't know! I bet you have a secret plan to fight inflation too, Erin."). Oh, and we ate fried food. DEEP fried food. A short list of things that various people from the group ate:

-deep fried corn fritters ("Like corn nuggets, but worse for you!")
-elephant ear (like a Beavertail but not as good)
-corn on the cob (ok, the real food)
-corn dog
-walking taco*
-steak on a stick
-deep fried strawberries dipped in chocolate
-deep fried oreo (it was free, and now I can say I've eaten one.)

All in all, I quite enjoyed the Indiana State Fair. And the deep fried oreo.

*A walking taco is snack sized bag of fritos with lettuce, tomato, cheese and ground beef in it. Can you say awesome lunch? I will be making this with whole wheat corn chips when I get home.

If Bond had gone to Lisgar...

2007-08-07T22:19:00.000-04:00

http://xkcd.com/123/

... he could've done it.

She's Shameless

2007-08-04T15:03:00.000-04:00

When three girls follow their dreams and start an online magazine, all I can do it shout their praises from any rooftop I can get to. I've read the premier issue of "She's In Fashion" magazine, and I think it's pretty friggin awesome. I only hope they'll let me write for them, cause this is a kickass project.

Check it out and tell all your friends:

www.shesinfashiononline.com

Feminist.

2007-08-03T21:17:00.000-04:00

I'm a feminist, I don't bathe. Ever.
I'm a feminist, I burn bras in lieu of logs in my fire place.
I'm a feminist, I hate men.
I'm a feminist, I date a girl and,
I'm a feminist, so I don't call my partner my girlfriend.
I'm a feminist, I would rather die than settle down and have a family.
I'm a feminist, I always have dirt under my fingernails
I'm a feminist, the only hair I shave is the hair on my head.
I'm a feminist, I pierce everything that can be pierced.
I'm a feminist, I wear lots of leather.
I'm a feminist, I listen to loud, angry music.
I'm a feminist, I heart Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm a feminist, when I'm not barefoot, I'm wearing my Birkenstocks.
I'm a feminist, I refuse to wear a dress.
I'm a feminist, I only eat the vegetables I grow in my backyard.
I'm a feminist, I don't wear deoderant.
I'm a feminist, I care about equal rights for men and women, and I think women are kickass.

Call me crazy. Some of those things are true, some are stereotypes that aren't true of me, but they are of some people. Who cares? Whatever form it takes, feminism rocks. No matter what some teeny boppers think (*ahem Hilary Duff*)

So, I have this thing for quizzes.

2007-08-03T16:56:00.001-04:00

Advocating Dreamer

I'm keeping my cervix far away from the line.

2007-08-02T22:15:00.000-04:00

So here's what I've been doing today:

http://www.shamelessmag.com/blog/2007/08/big-pharma-wins-again/

I am a fan of Shameless magazine. I like that it brings to light real issues instead of "281 ways to look pretty!" (see 17 for more of that). However, I don't like it when women in places of power at this magazine use it as a soapbox for their own personal (wrong) views about a vaccine that will help so many women. Yep -- HPV vaccine. It can't avoid controversy anywhere it goes. Here's my last bit, since I know most of you won't read it.

"I totally agree with you that Pap smears are essential to ensuring you stay cervical cancer-free. The problem is many women (like women in Aboriginal communities, as you mentioned)do not get Pap smears and it is these women who are most likely to get cervical cancer. Much needs to be done, socially. To start, why don’t we make sure all canadians are vaccinated? This is a huge break through in medical science. It is the first time in medical history that there is a vaccine against cancer — and this is what it is. 90% of cervical cancer is caused by HPV and it is the second highest cancer killer of women, second only to breast cancer, which has also been linked to HPV.

As to why the vaccine isn’t available to men — it is likely that the vaccine will be available to men in the next 12 months. This delay is because HPV does affect women more than men (although men can get anal, testicular and penile cancers from HPV as well). It is not a “women’s problem”. It is a solution for women.

As for Merck’s problems — they are a Big Pharmaceutical company, yes, so they are out to make a buck and out for themselves. But it would be cutting off our noses to spite our faces to push this breakthrough away because it is coming from Big Pharm. To make Merck more socially concious, why don’t we lobby them to donate vaccines to clinics where women who would never have access otherwise can get the vaccine? Women who will never get Pap tests, women who wear burkhas and chadors, whose husbands will never let them get Pap smears but who can get a needle and can protect themselves. I’m not trying to make sweeping generalizations, merely a suggestion. This vaccine can do so much good.

The idea that this is siphoning money away from other health issues frankly makes me a little annoyed, because this will in fact save so much money. As I said, HPV causes 90% of cervical cancer — without that 90%, so much money will be saved in terms of expensive, stage IV cancer treatments, all the way down to the wart treatments that come with HPV. Maybe not immediately, but in the long term, this will save so much money.

This vaccine has been in developement for over 20 years and clinical trials for 5. It has recieved exactly as much scrutiny as all other vaccines before they go to the public. Clinical trials continue, it will be monitored on an ongoing basis — just like every other vaccine. Why should we waste time over-scrutinizing when real lives can be saved. Scientific research on the long-term impact of the immune impact shows that if the vaccine is given to a 12-year-old, the immunity will be enhanced as time goes on. Why wait? We can help women. We can help an entire generation of teenagers, girls and guys. Why wait? Why put our cervixes on the line in order to “teach a lesson” to Big Pharm.? It is my body and as a socially-concious young woman, I feel my body will be of more use to any cause to which I want to lend it if I don’t have cervical cancer.

The fact is, cervical cancer prevention is a women’s issue — so let’s take control."

These women make me so angry sometimes. I hate that they would rather fight Big Pharm then save themselves and others from HPV and cervical cancer. This is a GOOD THING. Let's remember that people.

You're on a bridge to nowhere and you're gettin' there fast/ put it in the past

2007-07-29T13:46:00.000-04:00

My family has some sort of problem with planes.

I don't know what it is, but hardly a Bickbeck vacation has been had without plane troubles of some kind. I kid you not. When we wanted to go to Paris, the flight was canceled because of freezing rain. Luckily, the airline guy took pity on the mom with her two cute kids and gave us an extra day in Paris since we lost one, and I ended up being able to spend my birthday in Paris, which was nice... but still. It was touch and go for a while. I know, freezing rain is sometimes a problem when you leave for somewhere in the middle of November, and I wouldn't think much of it, were it an isolated event. There are other stories.

This year, when we were going to Cuba, we called the airport to check on our flight's status only to discover our flight had been canceled. Now this was only the flight to Toronto where we were to stay over night and then leave for Cuba in the morning. Now, this doesn't seem like such a bad thing, since there are flights to Toronto on the hour every hour all day from Ottawa until like 11pm, and we were leaving at 5. The problem was that this cancellation had been preceded by 3 days of terrible storms which left everyone flying anywhere in Eastern North America, and beyond, stranded for days. So every single seat on every single of those flights was booked. Every one. The standby fly list was a mile long. So we had to leave the next day (but that almost messed up too since the airline guy who rebooked us didn't press save or something and when we called back we discovered we had never booked a new flight. Fixed that in a hurry).

And now my poor father, who was to arrive last night here in Indy, after a week of stress and working overtime instead received a recorded call from the airline at 6am telling him: "Your flight has been affected due to .... cancellation." Now he is arriving today at about 2pm... right in the middle of the Brickyard 400, a huge car race of some kind that is happening right near the airport. As if Indianapolis' freeways aren't clogged enough normally.

I swear, it's a curse. I am the only one to break it, when I went to Indiana by myself a couple winters ago. I guess I'll fly alone from now on.

It was 100 degrees/ as we sat beneath the willow trees

2007-07-28T22:26:00.001-04:00

It's really hot here, in Indianapolis. Much hotter than Ottawa. I could actually go swimming, and not freeze my ass off. Radical, I know.

Last night was so much fun. I went swing dancing with Nathan, Jonah, Saralyn (Jonah's girlfriend) and Amy. We went early for the lesson, so they taught us how to do all these fancy moves, like the inside and outside turns, as well as the man turn and the sweetheart. Let me tell you, swing dancing is not that hard. It's hard to get really really good and have it look way awesome and all, but to learn some stuff that looks neat and is fun and then get out on the floor and dance... not too hard at all. When Evan showed up, I managed to teach him some dancing in about 2 minutes (and this is Evan, Mr I do not dance).

Whenever we got tired we went into the diner. See, the place where the dancing is hosted is this old theater place that has been converted to a dance hall with tables and a dance floor in the balcony and some practice room where Nathan and I practiced some really nifty moves, like the pretzel.

After discovering Evan had never seen RENT! we made last-minute plans to bring him back home with us and watch it at 1 in the morning. I fell asleep on his shoulder a couple times, but on the whole, the time was much enjoyed by all.

This evening, after a "fun-filled" afternoon at grandma's residence* my Uncle Stan went out to dinner with all the nieces and nephews to Steak 'n' Shake and then to a movie. I love my Uncle Stan. First of all is the money. Money is the going thing here. Everyone is always trying to give one another money. Often it is put to us, the nieces and nephews, to pass on/accept/not accept the money. It's a little silly. The other thing with Uncle Stan is that everything is always political. For instance, he was driving us to dinner in the van, which is kind of old. We were discussing how it's missing a mirror and the window is totally jank and such, and Uncle Stan said "Wouldn't it be nice to be a republican and be able have something fixed when it breaks?" The right and the left are black and white to him. Always.

We saw Transformers, and before you roll your eyes or otherwise knock it, know it was so much fun. Because it was so funny, and then when it got scary or serious, they'd just mention the name of the robot -- Bumblebee -- and then we'd all laugh.

*we tried playing jenga, since she can't really so scrabble anymore. It went ok, but games are a little beyond her now.

Jenk, Jank, Janky

2007-07-25T22:58:00.000-04:00

Family vacations are a funny thing. For instance, usually, they come at exactly the wrong time for me. This year is no exception, but last year is the example I will use in which I went away right at the time when my relationship was falling apart. Mike and I subsequently broke up.

The other thing about family vacations is that, as evidenced by popular belief, you have to spend it with you family. This is a problem. The only member of my family I really spend a ton of time with ever is my mom. My dad is always at work/napping/reading, but we still get some good hang out time. But not always, constantly, which is good. And with my sister and I, the less we hang out, the better we get along, it seems. But we're going to the same high school next year so we'll see how that goes...

Anyway, I have already moved on to phase 2 of my vacation, phase 1 not having been a huge success. Visiting my aunt and cousin was ok, but that house is a big box of drama ALL THE TIME. Very stressful, lots of crying. And today we drove to Indianapolis where I am now, sitting on the floor of my cousin Jonah's room (yess laptop) while he serenades me with Ben Folds songs on his guitar. I will go join in on this now.

I feel it all, I feel it all

2007-07-12T23:20:00.000-04:00

And today, I feel my teeth with no braces. Oh yeah.

Pretty, no?

Montreal might eat its young but Montreal can't get us down

2007-07-10T21:04:00.000-04:00

Last night at 9:15pm... do you know where you should have been? At the Final Fantasy concert at Bluesfest. Which was one of the (if not THE) most amazing concerts I've ever seen.

Here's some background. Final Fantasy is a one man band, basically. Owen Pallett is that one man. He plays violin, keyboard, and sings. Not all at once -- he's awesome, but no one is that awesome. He uses recording pedals. He lays down one harmony and then loops it and adds something on top of that... on and on. And then he opens his lovely mouth and sings. It's the kinda of music you just lose yourself in. The songs just get better and better as he builds them. He uses everything to its max. He drums on his violin to add percussion bits, he uses the back of his bow to create a new sound, he even yells into his violin, distorting his voice.

So basically, it was an amazing concert. The set list was perfect. He even played a Block Party song, and two encores that were the songs I still wanted to hear. One thing that I really liked was that his friend Steph ("WHO'S STEPH?" Owen: "Who's Steph? She's the one on stage who isn't me, I already explained this to you.") did really cool visuals. As they were setting up the stage (Kevin: "Quick! Take of pic of Owen's ass!") they put up a sheet and brought out an old school projector. The kind we use to take notes from at school. Steph turned this into the coolest visals. Layering images on top of each other, using textures, making these images come alive. It really added to the show, since Owen is only one guy with a violin, a keyboard and some stuff at his feet. He's smart that one. Puts on a great show.

After, he signed autographs. When the we heard that, Jake and I high-tailed it to the Compact Music tent where the signing was to be. Unfortunately, Hedley was still playing, which resulted in a lot of Owen fans yelling angrily and rolling their eyes, because Hedley was so bad, and the lead singer was incredibly obnoxious. I was pretty glad when it ended.

When I got to the front of the line, unfortunately my phone was too low in batteries for a picture! I was so so sad. Instead I hugged Owen. Best moment ever. The first time I saw him play, 2 years ago at Vinyl Cafe, I said "I love him! I just want to give him a big hug." and I got to. How lucky is that?

It's really too bad that he's gay. As Olivia said, all good violinists are.

I definitely thought I was a Ravenclaw since I go to Lisgar.

2007-07-09T17:01:00.000-04:00

be sorted @ nimbo.net

Congratulations on making Gryffindor!
Basically, you're brave, daring, chivalrous, and pretty much.. an all around good person. Of course, some see you as a goodie-two-shoes. But hey, it's true! You're really good at winning, and normally always come out as the hero. Everybody likes you.. except, maybe, the Slytherins. You're too perfect. No, really.. You're too perfect. It's annoying to watch you win, repeatedly. Oh well. Be proud anyway.

Gryffindors to Remember:
Harry Potter
Ron Weasley
The whole Weasley family
Hermione Granger
Albus Dumbledore

My moon and me, not as good as we've been/ it's the dirtiest clean I know

2007-07-03T17:32:00.001-04:00

Today I found the cure to my summer boredom/lack of motivation and it was a fridge. Actually, I was assigned the job of cleaning out the inside of my fridge (my mom bought me a lovely, sweatshop-free, black skirt in exchange for some hard labour).

It was a slow start. I've been putting it off and putting it off for about a week now. But today, overcome by boredom and a complete lack of motivation to leave my house to do anything else productive (prepare my proposal for Lisgarwrite, go for a walk) I finally gave in an bit the bullet.

I'm not going to lie. It was 3 hours of hard work. I had to empty each shelf of my fridge, pull the shelf out, put it in the soapy water in the sink, let it soak, clean it, put it back, reorganise the shelf, take everything out again and clean the walls... and repeat. Over and over.

But you know what? It gave me a goal. A purpose. No longer was I bored Evey, sitting on the couch watching bad, bad TV all day. I was Evey With A Purpose, and it felt good.

In other news, in a display of complete last minute-ness I have finally decided I need to see some of the bluesfest. I finally actually wrote down all the bands I was interested in seeing, and there were lots! I think I'm going to have to spend more money (sigh). Perhaps I will convince my parents to pay for the new bike.

This is a sequins kind of song

2007-07-02T20:39:00.000-04:00

Since I am La Canadienne who Speaks, I figure I should educate all of you about Canada Day. Or, at least, my Canada Day.

Now, I am quite the patriotic Canadian. I like being a Canadian -- I think it's a great place to live. I mean, sure we have our problems, but over all, Canada is pretty nice. We're healthy, we have great music and we have some pretty nice vistas (well for now... let's get on that saving the environment deal, ok Canada?). I even like living in Ottawa. I like all the green everywhere (just look at our buildings.) and the people tend to be nice. Also, it is the capital, which means we have certain perks, like all the museums, the public servants and, or course, the NCC funded celebrations, certainly not the least of which is the Big Canada Day Bash.

Though I am proud to be a Canadian and all that, really... I am not one for the big, downtown Canada Day celebration. It's hot, it's crowded, and really, we're all there for the fireworks at 10pm, aren't we? So I usually just stake out the top of the Bank Street Bridge near my house at about 9:30pm, watch the fireworks from afar, and go home again to early bed, listening to neighbourhoods hooligans setting off backyard fireworks. It's tradition.

However, this year, things have been different lately. Going out is increasingly part of my life. I enjoy going out with friends. So this year, I decided I wanted to spend the day with some friends, and if that was downtown, then, I wanted to go downtown! Which is why, when Davis invited me along to Graham's house* for Canada Day celebrations, I was pretty excited.

We ended up having a really really great day. We wandered around for a few hours, met up with some other people, and then headed back to Graham's for a while. I was clearly exhausted and fell asleep on the couch while everyone played WWE video games. After Marroushe for dinner (Marroushe, Marroushe! Quite near the scotiabank!/ Marroushe, Marroushe! On Elgin South of Frank.) and a dance party, Kevin and I headed downtown to see Feist play on the Hill with plans to meet up with the rest of the group later at the ORC for fireworks and spiked slurpies. We met up with Bora and waited a couple hours for Feist, who ended up going on last before the fireworks. at 9:30 and she was AWESOME. As usual. Her new CD is all kinds of awesome. Since she was on so late (but so worth it) we ended up staying on the Hill instead of going to the ORC, which was ok.

I was let down a bit because I didn't spend as much time with friends and the view of the fireworks was actually not that great from the Hill. But after the fireworks, I just put on my music loud and walked/skipped/danced down the street to Graham's house. I biked home feeling on top of the world. It was just so amazing, the wind in my hair, singing music that makes me feel good and smiling at the world going past me. I don't know what it is about Canada Day... it's just something in the air.

Happy Canada Day everyone, eh?

*Graham is a really nice guy who also happens to be pretty "cool". I felt kinda special to be invited to his house.

There's too much of you/ and there's not enough of me

2007-06-25T23:03:00.000-04:00

Today was my first lazy, sleep-in, nothing to do day of summer. I woke up at 9:30 when my chemistry teacher called me to ask about my textbook, which is still AWOL. It wasn't the best wake-up call ever (hear phone, jolt upright, blink twice, roll out of bed, stub toe, step on drawer sitting in the middle of the room, grab phone, drop phone, grab phone, croak "hello?"), I was strangely not all that thrown off by it being him on the phone. I guess this means I've been spending way too much time in the chem room.

After that I was awake, and lay around doing precious little all day. Read. Watch bad bad bad and boring TV, and ate junk food. And you know what? I was BORED. This led me to the following conclusion: I need a summer project. Something to work on, pass the time. Davis is my solution.

This summer, Davis and I have decided to make a zone together this summer! It is to be called "Three Word Title" and it will be epic. I'm so excited.

Here is something I spent an hour and a half on. Oh, facebook.

It's supposed to be of the picture of this picture of Nick and I by Dow's Lake:

Cause it's you and me/ and all of the people/ with nothin' to do, nothin' to lose

2007-06-24T00:01:00.000-04:00

Lorien has gone to camp. She will have fun, I hope, but I will miss her. She came over on Friday night to hang out before she left. Our plan was to have a Grey's Anatomy marathon (I keep forgetting to lend her season 2) and stay up late chatting -- you know, the best part of a girl's night.

The plan changed a bit, however. I ended up spending the day with Nick and he tagged along to come to work with me. That, in the first place, was a bad idea. I was hoping it would be fun to have him there and we would hang out since he had, after all been with me all day, which was fun. But instead, he and Mike were thick as thieves and ignored me. Nick ended up coming back to my house and hanging out with Lorien and I for the evening.

We watched Grey's Anatomy and then ended up walking Nick halfway to where he was going, which had us stopping by Dow's Lake. I love going out walking at night -- it's too bad I'm not allowed, or whatever. He showed up the next morning at 6:30am and woke us up. Normally, I would have been annoyed, but you know what? I am going to miss all of them. Even a semi-crappy night with them ends up making me happy.

*Pictures taken by Lorien

How I know I'm so cool.

2007-06-20T21:48:00.000-04:00

Today was my last exam (and there was much rejoicing!). I got six lab reports done this afternoon (and there was much rejoicing!). I bombed my chemistry exam (and there was mu-...)

Well, on the plus side, summer is here, and I tried my hardest.

Time, time ticking on me/ alone is the last place I wanted to be

2007-06-16T19:39:00.000-04:00

The internet really is a weapon of mass distraction. I can procrastinate for hours by flipping through mindless facebook photo albums and play mahjong instead of doing my eight (oh my god... eight) lab reports or cramming for my anthro exam, which I will fail for sure. For sure. I don't know what it is lately, I just have so much trouble lately motivating myself. I directly blame senioritis. Because you know what? It's contagious. I hang out with grade 12s a lot, and now I have senioritis even though I'm not a senior. Coincidence? I think not. As Davis said, I'm now a druggie... without the drugs. I have no idea what she's on about, you'd have to ask her.

I missed the last Insight Theatre gathering. The party was this afternoon, and I missed it. I was at work. It just totally slipped my mind, and I feel terrible. I missed the last part of Insight Theatre. I will never see most of those people ever again. That makes me so incredibly sad.

That has been happenning to me more and more lately. The intense feeling that time is slipping by, slowly swallowing up moments and faces and throwing them to the wind to be scattered. And then that's it.

I am not one who likes to let go. Of anything. My security blanket from when I was little is still sitting in my room on a shelf. The heads of the first dozen roses Mike ever gave me are sitting in a vase next to the teddy bears he gave me for Valentine's Day. Deleting msn conversations is often painful for me. I'm just so so afraid of forgetting, afriad of losing this moment, because I don't know what the next one will hold.

Because of all this Friday was just one big ball of freak out. Friday was the last day of school, which meant the last day for all those wonderful, talented people I have idolized and gotten to know over the past three years and even more so over the past month. Friday is also the day when we get yearbooks and you know what that means... signatures. Yearbook signing is so stressful because I am afraid to miss someone. In grade six I made everyone in my class sign my yearbook, even just with their name (the boys mostly weren't interested) just so I could collect them all and go over them. Count the names, count the memories -- good and bad.

So now my yearbook is sitting next to me. The signature pages are full. I've barely even read the yearbook, I've only skimmed the messages from my friends. They've made me laugh, they've made me cry, they've made me look forward to next year, but most of all, they make me feel better, more secure. I know who I'm missing, and I will track them down and they will sign my yearbook. I had to add a page to fit more people in. More memories. More time.

If only a pair of scissors and tape could buy more time.

Sunshine on the window/ makes me happy/ like I should be

2007-06-14T20:06:00.000-04:00

It just figured that that day I decide to go to anthropology, it's (pretty much) canceled. So I don't have to go anyway. I guess I'm just lucky.

Speaking of lucky, I was just thinking to myself "Hmm... I haven't watched 10 Things I Hate About You in a while, I should watch it again." when what was advertised on CityTV's nightly movie, but that movie. I think I shall watch it.

Here is the start of my list of things to do this summer. Maybe I don't have a job, but, gosh darnit, I will have a wonderful summer.

1. Pull out my water colours and paint a lot
2. Work on playing the guitar
3. Learn the banjo (maybe)
4. See friends, a lot.
5. Go to a cottage (I'm accepting invites now ;) )
6. Rent Season 1 of the OC and watch it.
7. Rent Weeds and watch it.

On being "different"

2007-06-13T20:57:00.000-04:00

Friday night was cast party #2 for the cast of "A Pirate's Life". I was not actually in the musical (poor judgement call on my part) but I have been consistently skipping per 3 with a bunch of the grade 12s with period 3 spare, who were in the play.

Period three has been the joke period of my year. I missed it a lot for Insight Theatre, and, unlike math, I never really felt the need to catch up and work on it. Since I was doing well in the class, it never became an issue. A couple of weeks ago, I found out that a bunch of the grade 12s have per 3 spare and that was it. No more class for me. I've been to class only 4 days in the past 2 weeks. And you know what? I've really enjoyed it. The people I've been hanging out with are so nice and so much fun. It's really too bad that they are leaving in two months. Darn grads. But isn't that always the way with high school?

Due to this new "self appointed spare" I have been able to do some fun stuff, like going to Bridgehead lots and have a nice chill time in the middle of the day. And it has led to conversations like this one:

Kesha: Hey, Evey, you should come to Leaf Camp!
Lilly: Yeah, why aren't you coming to Leaf Camp?
Lina: You should come!
Me: when is it?
Kesha: Tomorrow [friday] night until Sunday afternoon.

So you know I went. I was up until 2am thursday night and sunday night to finish my summative for anthro, but it was so, so worth it. And I got to go to the second cast party.

Which leads me to the Birkenstocks story. Birkenstocks are the accepted footwear of hippies everywhere - at my school. So all the kids who fancy themselves different that way wear Birkenstocks. I used to wear them a lot, and bought a new pair this year, but never really got around to wearing them. So after Leaf Camp I pulled them out of my closet and I just happenned to be wearing them when I went to the party.

Bad idea, let me tell you. At midnight when my mom called me and was all "I'm outside to pick you up." and I said "be right out." what I meant was "I'll be out in ten minutes after I walk onto the back porch, search for my Birkenstocks in the dark, yell at the floor, the light, the world, jam my feet into dozens of shoes and then, finally, find my sandals." Which makes me wonder... if we're all wearing the same shoes... we can't be that different can we?

Last real day of school tomorrow. I can't believe next year I will be in grade 12. I mean, I'm used to hanging out with them, but it was always accepted that they were above me. But not anymore. How wierd.

Who's Guido?

2007-05-24T21:48:00.000-04:00

If you live in Ottawa and don't have any other plans tomorrow night, go and see a wonderful production called "A Pirate's Life". It was written and directed by two Lisgar students, which is why I went, and it turns out it's actually hilarious, which is why I'm going again tomorrow and bringing more people. It was a part of Youth Infringement this year and they're doing a couple shows at Lisgar as well.

Incidentally, when Griffin came up to me 2 months ago and went "Hey Evey, want to do Youth Infringement this year? We need more people for the play." and I said "No I have work." what I should have said was "YES YES YES YES YES!"

I will dress your eyelids/ with dimes upon your eyes

2007-05-16T21:13:00.000-04:00

When waking up in at 4 in the morning 4 days a week, two things need to happen: you need to make get getting ready the path of only slightly more resistance than sleeping and you need motivation. The former I have covered by laying out my clothes (in two piles on my floor; one for rowing clothes, one for school clothes). I sometimes make myself a nice PB + J sandwich but often, I'd rather just go to bed the night before, so I dont.

With all those things covered, now is time to deal with motivation, which is key. Lack of motivation is why it takes me forever to get out of bed every morning. No matter what I have to do that day, keeping my poor, sad, sleep-deprived body in bed for just 5 minutes longer sounds so much better. Even if my parents aren't going to like it.

Today I had no problem. For the first time all week, I was psyched. I was ready. I was actually out of bed by 4:20. I had the best motivation: going back to bed.

You see, when I woke up, I knew three things: 1)We don't row in the rain 2) the weather network called for rain and 3) I could hear rain on my window. I was imagining myself coming home, crawling back into bed and sleeping for a couple more hours before heading off to my Insight Theatre show. I rushed in a more controled way through my morning routine and jumed into the car with my ride. I forgot my breakfast -- oh well, I was coming home! I didnt have tea -- no caffeine if I want more sleep!

When we arrived at the club, Craig, our coach, was already there. We all gathered around him and asked if we were rowing. He replied with ``Of course we`re rowing``.

Unfortunately, nothing would dissuade him. Not the head of the ORC saying (water`s too bad), not the other teams going in, not the novice boat breaking off a rudder, oh no. The senior women still went out and it was the scariest row of my life. The waves were pretty big -- even bigger for being in a boat six inches above the water. Especially toward the end, it seemed like we were on a roller coaster. The girls kept squealing and laughing and once we wre back on the dock, we all agreed it was the most fun ever. And that we`d never do it again. No one else went out on the water that day.

Cats = Love

2007-05-10T22:37:00.000-04:00

You know, it's moments like these when I'm so glad I have my cat.

Lately, I've been feeling a little bit like everything is passing me by. It's not just the overwhelming schoolwork, but that is pretty bad. I just feel like I'm losing my connections with everyone. Kirsten and I keep fighting, Aidan and I broke up (I don't even know why I care at all about that one) I never get to see any of my friends because of being so obscenely busy... I feel overwhelmed, which is when I really want to reach out, but I don't know who to reach out to. Normally, I'd say Kirsten, but she'd only tell me how good things are for me and I shouldn't complain. I don't like that so much; I wish she'd support me more.

I'm also being a huge asshole to Mike, and I know it. It's not even his fault. It's me. I've been thinking about him a lot lately. It seems that being dumped (okay, so not really dumped, but in an ase, the relationship ended) by Aidan just brought back all this... I don't know. I've been thinking a lot about Mike lately, and it makes me very sad. I still can't do that remeniscing thing without feeling sad all over again. I miss him, and it makes me pretty angry. But more than angry, I just feel defeated, and that is a terrible thing to feel.

My Moon, My Man

2007-05-10T18:17:00.000-04:00

Rosie is pretty jealous of my new toy. She doesn't like that, even though I'm in my room more, I spend a lot of time staring at some stupid machine instead of paying attention to her. It is very distressing.

Well, here it is, my new toy:

So, it was expensive and so far Vista is sometimes a bitch (Apple, please hurry up and fix the software so I can plug my ipod in to my computer!)... but it's mine and it makes me very happy. Also? That is a webcam on top. Oh yeah.

Today at work was very eventful. One of the rooms at the Homework Club has a sticky lock, and one of the grade 8s who work there got locked in accidentally. That was fun. Try keeping a group of nosy ten year olds in one place while something exciting is happenning in the other room.

Now I'm off to Lorien's for a fun night of Grey's watching and making fun of Mike, and Andrew when he gets home. Sweet!

The heat is so great it plays tricks with the eyes/ It turns road into water, water into sky

2007-05-09T20:40:00.000-04:00

I want to take the afternoon off everyday. So much more civilised to go home and take a nap and then go to work. Who needs math and anthro anyway? Not I. Who needs more sleep? Me. For sure. Waking up at 4 every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday really takes its toll, especially with AP and homework until 11:30 at night.

AP exam! AP French exam was Monday. I missed the whole day (and was surprisingly not really behind at all) and it went ok. It lasted for 6 hours. At a certain point it stops being about your skills and starts being about endurance. I was so, so happy when I got to leave.

We have a regatta this weekend, for rowing. It might have to also be my last. I started going to physiotherapy for my back and my physiotherapist, this week, said that if my back isn't better for next week, then she wants me to stop rowing for a couple of weeks, which brings me to the end of the season. Frankly, I wouldn't be worried if I weighed less, because I could coxy, but there's no way I can coxy at all. Which means I'd just be off the team.

The Undertaking

2007-05-08T18:27:00.000-04:00

Well, somehow I survived The Clean-up of Lorien's room. 10 Things I Hate About You had it right; you do learn a lot about someone from the contents of their room. I learned quite a bit about Lorien. The first thing I learned was the most obvious thing. She is a packrat. Upon walking into her room, this was immediately apparent. The entire plac was covered in at east 2 feet of stuff. The floor was covered in clothes, the surfaces with clothes and papers. We spent two hours just going through all the stuff and making piles, throwing out the trash and piling the clothes to sort through. It was a huge undertaking and im pretty impressed at the results. You can now see the floor!

And it's official. I should be arriving in Indianapolis on July 25th. Mark your calendars! Anyone interested in going to a Harry Potter party? Again? Cause I'm just that cool.

What will make me say stay

2007-04-30T20:43:00.000-04:00

You have heard lots about my love/hate relationship with my job over the course of this year and I wanted to make sure that I was clear on one point: despite the fact that my boss is a little wierd, and the kids sometimes don't listen and I'm forced to make them do more work than they need to and it's every day... it's still a pretty sweet job.

I realized this once again today at work. It's gotten to the point where my boss listens to me and actually trusts me. Today, she sent everyone and their brother in to my room to work with me and it went fine for about 20 min until suddenly everyone needed me at once. I ducked out for a minute and told my boss that I had too many people and she said "Ok" and fixed it. And then later I mentioned to her that all the kids needed reading books for their french reading they do every day and she immediately wrote an email aboutit to all the parents. That felt pretty cool.

Today we had an Insight Show at Greenbank which was so much fun, but a pretty bad show. Catharine as the Wizard of Oz walked into the scene at the wrong time and said "Hello Dorothy!" realized her mistake, and then said "I'll be back later." We couldn't stop laughing. During Time Warp, I'm supposed to be like Susan Sarandon's character in Rocky Horror (pre-sexual awakening) and Jon was the bf guy. I couldnt stop laughing through that scene, and to mask it I pretended to be overcome by all this talk of condoms and swooned into Jon with my face in his chest. But I was laughing my head off.

After the show, a bunch of us went to Venus Envy, since Jenn said she'd take us and it's only half a block from the PPO office. I was excited because I wanted to get the zine that a couple bloggers I read made. It was pretty much awesome. Any place that sells zines, erotica and vibrators while playing Tegan and Sara music that both the cashier and I sing along to and does all this across the street from a super uptight Bible store is cool by me. (Disclaimer: I like Bibles just fine, but not that store.) Also, all grammar nerds, feel free to fix the grammar of that last sentence.

I'll be the one who'll break my heart / I'll be the one to hold the gun

2007-04-29T20:36:00.000-04:00

Right now, I feel short of breath, my head is spinning, I can't focus, I can't remember anything and I feel sick. I must be dying, or something. Or really sick. It can't be just the stress, because stress can't do this much, can it?

Maybe what I need to do is not think ahead. Not think about the AP exam next week or how screwed I'll be for the math test since I'm missing school for insight theatre, or how it's still six long weeks to the summer where everyone will be working except for me. I need to not think about those things. Because the only times I'm happy anymore are when I commit myself to the moment.

That's kind of sad. My favourite part of anything is anticipation. Starting as a little kid, going to sleep on Christmas Eve, hardly able to lie still even though I knew the sooner I fell asleep, the sooner Christmas morning would come. Or waking up in the morning with a smile on my face looking forward to the day ahead. Now, I wake up exhausted with a knot in my stomach and my heart rate up knowing that I'm already behind and there's nothing I can do about it. And I want that to stop.

I really want to take a day. Just relax and not worry about anything. But I can't, because I am so behind I can't even take the time to catch myself up. It's that bad. I owe Mr Magwood about 7 assignments. And yet on weekends, I can barely bring myself to do any work at all. I can't focus. I know it's because I'm overtired, but I go out all weekend because without the weekends, I wouldnt get any time at all to be happy.

Friday was that best night this weekend. I did enjoy the night with Lorien last night, but Friday made me very very happy. I went to the Planned Parenthood Ottawa Volunteer Appreciate party. Part of this party, we had been told ahead of time, would be an Erotica reading by one of the PPO board members who is an Erotica writer. It was a pretty awesome time, starting with hanging out, guessing the words on our backs (I had "Aphrodisiac" and "Orgasm") and then we all sat down for the reading. As our lovely reader is being introduced I start thinking about her name. "Megan Butcher" sounds very familiar to me. And then she gets up there and I realize, it the THE Megan Butcher of the blog Asteroidia Press and I start being fangirl and I squee a bit (sorry guys) and got very excited. She read from her blog instead of her book, a piece I really liked and then was all mingled again. I went over to talk to Megan and buy her poetry book (which she signed!), and not only was so super nice, but she knew who I was! She said that when she came in and saw my name tag, she thought it was the same Evey as the blogger. How cool is that? I was pretty happy all evening that I met one of my bloggers.

After, Seb, Emily Laura and I went to the cabaret at Club Saw (IZM 3!) which was just too much fun (Laura: There will be a bar and they won't card you but you will not be drinking because I'm there). The acts were mostly good although not all (Laura: Please don't get me fired!) and the host of the evening was my favourite person ever ("Eh bien, Merde, la!" "Parts of that, were not so funny, but other parts were funny, so it was ok")

I just need to make it through 2 more months without falling apart. I hope I can go til then, but I keep slowing down and getting further and further behind (rowing run metaphor, anyone?). I can't figure out how to catch up, I really can't.

I won't be left dancing alone to songs from the past

2007-04-25T19:11:00.000-04:00

Yay! My article is out!

Remember like 3 months ago (maybe 4) when I told you I was going to write an article for a magazine? Well now it happenned! I have the issue right here in front of me. I can't believe it. I'm a published writer!

Although... I am quite pissed that they got my name wrong. I politely told them twice that I wanted to be published under my real name and not the name on my email address. And still they got it wrong. So my last name is half wrong. My friend read it and then excitedly told me about this article she read about Insight Theatre and that Phil Mak was quoted twice! She didn't even know that I wrote it. That really sucked.

Anyway, to all of you awesome people (<3 Jonah, Saralyn, Evan) who have been waiting for it to come out... it's out! And it's not that awesome, but it's my first (relatively) big published thing. I'm so excited.

[www.shamelessmag.com]

Paris, je t'aime

2007-04-18T22:32:00.000-04:00

Today, the worst happenned. After months of pushing through and teetering on the edge of where I should be and just barely keeping up, I'm into the real trouble now.

I failed my first test.

Yes, it's true. I am a huge over-achiever. But really, at my school, everyone is. The fact that I'm taking a gr 12 course is nothing new. And getting over 80% average? Why, anything below that is practically a fail! What else is there? I have succumbed to the pressure. I am severely let down if any grade of mine below 85. My anthro 84.5 just isn't cutting it right now.

So, as you can imagine, I was pretty angry when I got my test back with a failing grade. I mean, I thought maybe I had a 75 (bad enough) but 49?? ME? I am the biggest control freak ever. I can't handle it. It was due to this feeling of out of control and disbelief that when I got into my car I made a rather large mistake: I told my mom about my test. She was pretty unhappy. sentences like "maybe I've been giving you too much freedom" and "This isn't good enough" and "This doesn't happen to you" were tossed at me.

The result? I don't know. Nothing so far; I've been going out a lot on the weekends lately and I will this weekend too and so far I'm still allowed. We'll see what happens though. I need to pick it up. Everything is finally catching up with me. I don't have anything left. And now I'm failing tests. This is not good.

Every streetlight reveals a picture in reverse

2007-04-16T20:32:00.000-04:00

Setting: Homework Club. Me, Mike and 2 students who are done their homework. Mike and I are facing one another, and the kids are on either side of us.

Students: Mike, you're so boring. You never smile and you never talk about anything interesting. You're like the opposite of Evey. She smiles all the time and-
Evey: I love chatting.
Mike: You never ask me anything interesting.
Students: Ok! So, Mike, do you have a girlfriend?
Mike: No.
Students: Did you have a girlfriend?
Mike: Yes.
Students: *look at me to confirm his answer*
me: Yeah, he had a girlfriend.
Students: Did she like dumb calculus and math like you?
Evey: *trying very hard not to laugh* Not as much as Mike, no.
Students: *confused about why I'm answering their questions and not Mike* Did she never smile like you?
Mike: No, she smiled a lot.
Evey: yep, it's true.
Students: Did she dump you?
Evey: *still loving the irony of the situation*
Mike: No.
Students: Why did you dump her? Was it because she smiled too much? *laugh*
Evey: Geez Mike, that's not a very nice reason to dump someone.
Students: Yeah Mike.

The kids can't seem to comprehend anyone being comfortable with anyone of the opposite sex unless they're dating or related. Mike and I confuse them a lot. And we enjoy it.
I spent an hour talking to him on Saturday night after Adam's party. I feel bad for him. I wish he wouldnt take so much on himself. If anyone he cares about is hurting he gets angry and pissed off. It's what accounts for his "I hate the world" exterior. But at least he doesn't do that at me anymore.

My boss is finally back at the homework club, which means the fun is over. I was finally starting to enjoy working with the kids and getting to know them, but that kind of ends now. I'm glad that Patti is back to deal with the kids who refuse to do as we say or who won't calm down. But other than that, I'd rather her stay on vacation.

Now that she's back, my mom really wants me to quit. I'm afraid to quit though. First of all, I hate going back on committments. I would feel like I'm failing if I don't go to the end of the year. Also, it's really good money, money that I could use for university. It's also my only link to Mike Welsh, who is becoming more and more of a good friend. But on the other hand, I'm extremely overstressed and over burdenned and something's gotta give. The question is what....

When the war came, the war came hard

2007-04-03T22:34:00.000-04:00

Mrs Szeles: So, do ANY of you know your lines for the lines test today?

[pause]

Evey: I do...

Student: Evey, do you have to be an overachiever ALL the time?

That was a drama class exerpt, the class in which I am getting a 98%. Saves my chem grade, let's hope.

I have recently re-discovered the Decemberists and Bloc Party. If I'm not listening to one, I'm listening to the other. I'm bad with making playlists... so not much variety in what I listen to. Oh! Oh! Fun reader task. Post any cool playlists you have/playlists you think I may enjoy. Or else I'll get sick of these two groups and I will cry.

You know what's even better than a 4-day week? A 4-day weekend. Followed by a 4-day week. The result being I will get to see Aidan at least twice, damnit. Due to excess of homework on his part (don't get me started...) a no hanging out on weeknights rule has been instated. So I get to see him about once a week. But not on 4-day weekends! On 4-day weekend, you can do pretty much anything you want.

I love that freedom. The freedom to do whatever you feel like doing. Being spontaneous. Of course, this is something my mother doesn't believe in, or something. She has to know these things before I leave the house:

1) Where I'll be
2) Who I'll be with
3) How I'm getting there
4) What exactly will be happenning there (and if there's parental supervision)
5) When I'm coming home
6) How I'm getting home. (No bus or walk after dark)

Plus, I must have my cell phone with me, turned on, at all times. And I must answer it. No excuses. Today, I couldnt find my cell phone in time for leaving this morning, so I left it. I was 10 min late home from work due to a kid being picked up late and my mom freaked because she couldn't get a hold of me. You can see how this does not lend itself to spontenaity. I walked home on Friday night from Alex's in the Glebe, after dark. It was probably the most exciting thing I've done in a long time.

I'm such a lame teenager. I have got to get out more often.

*****

Further camp quote:
Lina, Evey and Ailish, all very tired.

Lina: I hate Avril Lavigne

Ailish: I'm so, so tired......

Evey: She should go to Japan.

Lina: Ailish?

Ailish: yes *asian smile with peace signs* one hundred percent!

Take a shower, shine your shoes, you've got no time to lose

2007-03-31T16:29:00.000-04:00

CAMP!

...was amazing. The campers were chatty and my group, not so good, but it was so fun being a skillbuilder. The other skillbuilders (camp counsellors, if you will) were perfect and I loved hanging out with them. We were completely insane, and I'm sure the kids were a little freaked out. Whenever we weren't doing a session with our groups, we would hang out in the corner, sitting on the extra tables that we'd piled high with our mattresses. We were the kings of the castle and it was a good time. Mr Hum kept walking past us and just shaking his head.

All day, the skillbuilders would do our thing, working in our groups, keeping the kids entertained and under control, making sure they didn't kill each other. After the kids went to bed, that was when the real fun started.

The camp happenned in this one big cabin. There was a main room, with the kitchen off it at one end and two bunk rooms at the other. Boys went in one room, girls in the other. The teachers slept upstairs in their rooms and the skillbuilders slept in the main room, outside the campers' rooms, on about a million mattresses, co-ed. Which was quite shocking in of itself, because usually at camp, the boys sleep with the boy campers and the girls get a skillbuilder cabin. But this year, Mr Hum didn't really care. In fact, nobody cared what the skillbuilders did. After the campers went to sleep, we'd stay up until all hours, having a camp fire, telling scary stories ("Just so you know guys, I will scream.") and generally having a good time. And then the next morning we'd all look like death and ask each other "Hey... Lina? Why was it a good idea to stay up until 3? WHY?".

Oh camp. How I miss you. Even though I was smelly and greasy and never got a second alone, I miss you so much. As Lina said when she signed on yesterday, "You know what sucks? SLEEPING ALONE."

*******

Best Camp moment: At camp, if you say something mean to someone, someone else can tell you to "Validate that!" and say something nice about the person. Here is a conversation between one of my campers and I:

Camper: Hey, Evey, what's that V word?

Evey: Umm... Vagina?

Camper: Uhhh... no. Validate! That's the one.

Evey: OH. Sorry.

Skilbuilder: This is the sad side-effect of Insight Theatre.

2007-03-15T22:42:00.000-04:00

you know that your conversation is dying when this is the only thing said in half an hour:

LuckEdc: i have elbows.
ewings73: wow
ewings73: you know what? I think I have those too
ewings73: let me check
LuckEdc: do you?
ewings73: yes!
LuckEdc: amazing!
ewings73: what a coincidence!
LuckEdc: who knew?
ewings73: we're practically twins!
LuckEdc: :D

It's a two post kind of a day.

2007-03-13T22:29:00.000-04:00

And now, in other news...

A couple weeks ago, I went to see the Vagina Monologues for the first time with Insight Theatre (Aidan came too -- he was already planning on going. He did remarkably well, I thought).
I didn't really know what to expect when I went, but I figured my Insight Theatre time had prepared me for almost anything. It was an amazing, even more so because Eve Ensler herself was there, playing the part of herself. I don't know how many of you have seen this show, but if you haven't, you should go see it. And if you have seen it, go again. It has powerful stories with powerful messages and it's a really good time. It changed how I thought about some things (like the word "cunt") and made me laugh a lot. Everyone should see this show.

Once you've seen the Vagina Monologues, in some ways, there's no going back. You are suddenly extremely pro-vaginas. Not that you weren't before (especially for those of us who own one) but just more. Which is why I was so angry when I read this story. Honestly, it's a quick read, go read it. Ok, back? How angry are you? #1, that they would suspend them for saying VAGINA which is a body part (elbow! knee! hip! vagina!) and #2 that they would say it was ok because there were no young children in the audience. The fact that young children don't hear vagina is why it's such a big deal now. Honestly. I was ready to kick some major school board ass when I read this follow-up and discovered that Eve Ensler felt much the same way and went to give them a good ole' talking to.

I hope she said vagina a lot when she did.

In dreams I try to take you far away/ But you never stay

2007-03-13T20:56:00.000-04:00

I'm booooored. I haven't left my house since I got home from Cuba (yeah, I know, cry me a river and all that, but it's a stark contrast, and I'm taking to it not at all) and gosh darn it, I want something to do. Here is how bored I was today: I ventured to do what I haven't done in a good six months. The smarter (lazier?) part of my brain has kept me away from it. Sometimes my mother gets fed up with me and does it for me (this is, as Dr Phil would say, enabling my lazy behaviour.) But today, I was so incredibly bored, that I bit the bullet.

I cleaned my room.

Here's the thing about my room. It's a very nice room. My bed is a wierd size and is a little short for me, but it's cozy, so who cares. I have no bedside table, but my dresser pushed up against the bed holds up my iHome and reading material just find, so I'm not complaining. I don't even so much mind the fuzzy pink blanket on the end of my bed that clashes with my bedspread that I can't move due to certain wrath from my controling cat. No, the main problem with my room is me. I am an obsessive, incurable, complete and utter pack rat. I keep everything. The shelf is overflowing with books that I a)Have read and will never touch again b) Recieved from distant relations/family friends and will never touch, period or c) Love and like to read over and over again, but the latter ones are the minority by far(1.5 shelves out of 7). I've got a drawer full of general crap that people have given me, a drawer full of general scarf-type crap, a drawer of card-type crap... really it's too much.

The only thing I purge with any regularity is my closet(/dressers). This is because I actually have somewhere to put the stuff I get rid of (thank you mom, for taking that job at the Clothes Secret). Because here is why I'm a pack rat: I can't bear the thought of my stuff being chucked out. I mean, sure, I don't want it, but what has the poor little [insert name of doodad here] ever done to me? I can't handle it. I would love to dispense with all those books I don't want -- but I need to find a used book store to take them, and give them new life in someone else's happy home, otherwise, I'll be afraid the purging will leave me wth lingering guilt and/or bad karma (although probably what it will leave me with is a sense of freedom and more shelf space). Same for my general crap, although there's probably a great deal less hope there.

2007-03-12T21:10:00.000-04:00

I had the wierdest dream the other night.

I dreamt that it was about two weeks ago, I think. What happenned is that this guy who goes to my school, who I've barely talked to since grade school, was coming over for dinner, because apparently we were thinking about dating. I said to Davis "I'm just going to see how things go... I mean, I like Aidan, but we'll see how this goes."

So this guy came over and kept saying things about my house like "Oh, I don't like this." or "This isn't very good." and he had all kinds of problems with the food I served. At the end of it he said "If we're going to date, a lot of things are going to have to change."

That's when Aidan showed up and I felt so happy and I knew at that moment that I didn't give a shit about this other guy, I was crazy about Aidan. He apparently didn't care about my trial run with this other guy and we went off together, while I felt blissfully happy.

Ok, here's my self analysis: I am somewhat stressed about how different Aidan and I are, in some ways. He is a vegetarian, and I am not, which stresses me out. Is it ok for me to eat, like, a hamburger when I'm with him? Will he care? Will he kiss me if I've eaten meat? What if I brush my teeth? Yes, I do overthink. Also, Aidan spends substantial amounts of time on homework (2 hours a night only on latin!) and I almost never do homework, unless it's a project. The first week we were dating, we spent a total of about 3 hours on the phone over 2 nights. Three hours he didn't spend on homework. I'm afraid that could eventually piss his parents off...

So my theory is that in my dream, I'm thinking about how none of the problems matter when I'm with Aidan because me makes me happy. The whole, random guy from my childhood showing up? I have no clue. Your guess is as good as mine. Theories?

Quail in Rose Petal Sauce was the first really bad sign.

2007-03-11T23:16:00.000-04:00

I am in the midst of a very delightful book, called "Julie & Julia : My Year of Cooking Dangerously" by Julie Powell. It's a non-fictional account of Julie Powell's project to make all five hundred and something recipe's of Julia Childs' from Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Vol 1. Which is referred to ask "MtAoFC" in the book. It's definitely not just about cooking. I find myself laughing out loud and pulling for poor Julie as she convinces herself to eat eggs, contemplates her ticking biological clock and scoops black shit out of her bathroom taps in her crappy New York loft where she lives with her husband and old high school sweetheart, Eric. Everyone should read this book. It has the pacing and feel of one of those diary type books but much wittier and less dumb. A lot of this book is the story of a blog, which is fun to read, especially for a blogger and bleader (read the book to find out) such as myself.

So, I'm sorry for the blog silence. I'm going to try to stop that. Most recently, I was in Cuba for a week, which is a terrible excuse except that it's a perfect excuse as the internet cost money and who the hell really wants to be on the internet when they can be hanging out in their wonderful resort by the ocean, sipping Cuba Libres or Mojitos or whatever while procuring a marvelous tan to bring home to Canada. Exactly.

I will be using Cuba material for a while, as there was a lot of good stuff to blog about. Stay tuned for such wonderful stories as "The Highlighted Couple" and "How you know you're in communist Cuba" and "My week hanging out with Hip Young Moderns". But that is not for tonight.

Tonight, dear bleaders I have other news to share. (Ok, ok, bleaders = blog readers. I stole it from Julie Powell.) Another blog silence reason is due to The Boy. I have contemplated giving The Boy a nickname, to be like one of those bloggers who protect their anonymity with codewords. But I am not such a blogger, and see little reason to refer to The Boy as anything except his real name: Aidan. (Another blogger recently came to the novel conclusion of using her former "paramour"'s real name. I say the nicknames add a nice air of mystery.)

Most of you know about Aidan. I could hardly keep quiet about it, I know. But a new relationship is one of those things that is so hard to keep quiet about, especially for me, since I talk about Everything to Everyone (/Anyone who will listen). It's one of the perks of my extrovertedness. And something like this... I can't and don't want to keep it on the downlow. So.

His name is Aidan. He's in my drama class. We've both liked each other for a while, but both being the partial cynics we are, we tried to push it away and convince ourselves that "He/She could never like me." But somehow... we did. And do. And it just came together like magic... Ok, ok, I'm sounding sappy, but it's so true. The way everything just fit together. We'll see how this continues to unfold, but I have semi-cautious high hopes. He makes me very happy, and he tells me I'm beautiful, among other things. This would make any girl happy, and I must say, I am no different.

Have you ever wanted all your favourite sexuality songs collected in one big box set?

2007-02-27T19:22:00.000-05:00

Behold! The Insight Podcast!

http://www.cfsh.ca/ppfc/content.asp?articleid=432

scroll down to "Podcast". I'm the female announcer in ECP Race and I sing "I'm transgender and I will survive" in GLBTTQ Box set, as well as backup singing for most of them.. It's good fun! It's not all my troupe (HIV waiting room -- I take no responsibilty for that.) Disclaimer: sorry for the singing.

So my advice to you is: next time you have to go to the DMV, you'd better bring along your wings.

And I know, know cuz she said so/ And I can't just let you go

2007-02-18T12:16:00.000-05:00

Busy busy week.

I missed so much school. I had two Insight shows this week, one of which was to fill in in the other troupe at Vincent Massey. After getting lost on the bus (Adam: "What, could you not find your seat?") due to my fabulous bus skills (Driver: "Haig was 3 stops back") and back-tracking 4 blocks I finally got to Vincent Massey. I still beat everyone else there and spent some awkward moments with the office ladies of Vincent Massey. It got even more awkward when who should end up front row centre but Laura, a girl from my church from one of the most conservative families ever. I cringed inwardly when we did the Masturbation Macarena and she almost had a heart attack.

Valnetine's this year kind of came and went, and I have to say, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Sure I whined and groaned and told you how I hated it, but it was ok. It was my favourite chem moment so far.
Mr Magwood: Where's Adam Potter?
Evey: Oh, he's stuck in a box, sir. He wrapped himself up as a present for his girlfriend, and she's late.
Mr Magwood: Oh, ok.
Gabe: Wow. It's moments like this when I wish I were a nice guy. But I'm not, so I'm running to Rideau at lunch to buy something for Meghan.

I spent the afternoon at the Insight show and I spent the evening with my ex at work. Which was actually half decent. We ended up talking later on for 2 hours. It was bittersweet, and I cried a little bit, but for the first time we were connected again and this wall was gone. We laughed, and joked about when we were dating and it was nice. It was really nice. I'm pretty sure we'll never have a conversation quite like this one ever again, but I'm glad that I got that confirmation that I didn't make up that connection. That it's still there. It's just got a brick wall through the middle of it.

It is official: I am going to Cuba the week before March Break. I am incredibly excited, despite that fact that I have to spend the whole time with my little sister. Lying on the beach for hours while reading a books sounds extremely awesome.

So my advice to you is: next time you have to go to the DMV, you'd better bring along your wings.

All is fair

2007-02-11T15:13:00.000-05:00

This weekend feels sooo long. I can't believe I have to go
back to school tomorrow. Thursday, I had an Insight Theater show and ended up missing the whole day, ie, skipping the afternoon. Which was nice. I went to the Clothes Secret and helped my mom re-do the windows.

That night was the semi formal. I had no choice but to go, since I'm on Studco exec. I had to help clean up the balloons and draped fabric (duct taped to the bleachers, but we had to "be careful" and "not rip the fabric".). I was feeling pretty apprehensive, since my freinds are pretty well all attached, and those who weren't, seemed to have dates. Also, I had nothing to wear.

I started getting more excited when Lorien invited me over to her house to get ready for the dance. I love the whole, hanging out with girl friends, putting on make-up, getting pretty.

I also found a dress (I think I love this dress, but it sometimes makes me look wide. At least in the photos of the dance. Which I hate.)

Then I discovered that not only would Mike be at Lorien's, but so would Cotrut, Lachlan and Nick. I was kind of happy I'd get to see Nick, but all kinds of awkward would come from a) being around Mike and b) being around Nick around Mike. It was all fine. I had fun with the girls, bugging Mike (he was short-tempered that day, which was fun. Ok, so I'm mean. But so what?) and playing footsie with Nick, under the table, sitting across from Mike. I felt very tricky.

The dance itself was full of drama. Avery ditched Hashem early on and kept bad mouthing him to various people, I got stuck between dancing with Hashem and Michal and everyone was grabbing everyone else's asses. Not in our group, the group that started dancing long before everyone else and got judging looks because of it, but in the large orgy in the middle of the room.

The next day was skiing for Erika's birthday party, which was SO MUCH FUN. There was fresh snow and I had tons of fun skiing. Avery of course had to show off the whole day, and I never got to ski with Geoff, but I learned how to "waltz" down the hill. If you haven't tried it, you should. So much fun. We went back to Erika's (after a detour to get gas, pick up Lorien's dad, drop him off and wait at a green light due to excessive sunlight. "It's red. I swear it's red!")

Erika has a huge home theater in her basement so we watched Chocolat. The singles decided we'd comandeer the front couch, so I got to snuggle in between Michal and Geoff. Movies are one of those things where you can cuddle up with whoever, and no one cares.

I love being a teenager. So much drama.

Credit to Hashem for the pictures.

So my advice to you is: next time you have to go to the DMV, you'd better bring along your wings.

Eat food. Not too much, mostly plants.

2007-02-05T23:10:00.000-05:00

I've been having a busy time lately. Let's see what has happenned that's interesting.

Hmm. Semester 2. I'm very disappointed that I had to switch out of AP Writer's Craft, for many reasons. The first being that I don't get to have an amazing class with and amazing teacher and develop a writing voice and style and just write for a class.

My dream class.

Of course, even if I hadn't switched out, I wouldn't have had Hodgson. The day he came back, at lunch (he only teachers afternoons, so he comes in late), I went to see him. I dragged along McC, and went to see Mr Hogdson.
I missed him so much! It was so good to see him again, even though he has a new classroom in Mr Peter's old room. With a giant plant in it. And I talked to Mr Hodgson about how he dropped my class. He felt bad, and he promised he'd teach my class next year. He'd better, is all I can say. This is the course I have wanted to take, conciously since grade nine, but really, about forever. So I really, really, need to get him next year.
It's hard when all my friends have him and enjoy flaunting it. I mean, I guess I'd want to too if I were in that class... but I'm not. So it hurts that way something hurts when someone teases you and you laugh, but it hits you like you've just fallen off the monkey bars and landed flat on your back.

Speaking of landing flat on your back, I went tobagonning yesterday at the farm with Emma and Luke and my sister. I fell off a sled on which you stand up and did something to my neck. Initially it did hurt but it was waking up this morning that hurt. Looking down at my desk all day was pain.

So my advice to you is: next time you have to go to the DMV, you'd better bring along your wings.

Hey Lloyd, I'm ready to be heartbroken

2007-01-31T14:23:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting at home watching bad daytime TV. I'm that bored. "Why?" you may ask, "Why would such an awesome fabulous person like you be sitting at home with nothing to do while you and all your friends have the day off school?"

Well, I had plans to hang out with Russel Nick. I never get to see him (since he lives in Russel...) and so today there was this big plan that after Nick's sleepover with Geoff, Geoff would drive Nick into the cty and Nick would hang out with me until my work. I was excited.

So the next thing that happens is that Kirsten wants in on the fun in Russel and asks her dad if she can sleepover and in a stunning display of Kirsten's dad being so unpredictable, he said yes. As did Nick's parents. So then Alex decided to join in too. Apparently I was invited at some point, but I honestly do not remember ever having been invited. Because I would have said yes.

So I hung out a bit with Nick after my exam yesterday, we finalized our plans for the real hanging out to be done the next day. He went to write his exams and then have the party I wasn't in on. I called that evening and they were having too much fun to talk to me, which felt great. Today, after my class was done, I called Nick to see where he was at. Here is our conversation.

Me: Hello?
Kirsten: Hey Evey it's Kirsten. Oh... man... we just woke up... here, I'll pass the phone to Nick so you can talk to him.
Nick: Hi?
Background: *laughter and sounds of making breakfast*
Evey: So... what's happenning?
Nick: We just woke up... so...
Evey: I finished my class and you're still in Russel, so I guess I'll go home and we'll meet up later?
Nick: Um... I think the consensus is everyone wants to hang out here and play Starcraft and cards and stuff...
Evey: So, I don't get to see you today?
Nick: I don't think so, no.
Evey: Great.
Nick: I'm sorry, I promise we'll hang out soon.
Evey: When? You know there's no time we can.
Nick: Yeah... I'm really sorry.
Evey: Your loss.
Nick: I know.
Evey: No. Really, really, your loss.

There's more to this story but this blog is a little public to tell it right now. If you want full details, add me on msn. Or AIM. Or whatever.

So my advice to you is: next time you have to go to the DMV, you'd better bring along your wings.

"There's a tear in the fabric, of your favourite dress/ and I'm stealing glances."

2007-01-29T14:01:00.000-05:00

I was just on CBC1's Ontatrio today talking about how people should have their own common sense instead of having it legislated by government, which does very little, especially with teenagers. The real reason I was on is that I tried to get on the gardening phone-in for help with my bonsai tree, but I didn't get through and I felt like arguing with Rita Celli about something.

So, I'm learning to drive now! I'm very excited. While I don't like how people drive everywhere (except at 7am when I just really don't want to bus to school in the dark. Or when it's cold.), and I know the state of our ozone sucks... but nothing beats sitting in the driver's seat with your mom beside you, gripping the seat every time you go over 20 (km/h, for you Americans). What a perfect metaphor for teenage-dom.

On Friday, I saw Russel Nick briefly when we had biology exams at the same time. We chatted, and then talked about how we should both be going -- I, to work, as usual, and he said he needed to go to Mike's (Yes, THE Mike) house to drop off Mike's calculator which Nick had borrowed. I, being the, kind and generous soul that I am, pointed out that I was about to go to work where Mike also works, and why shouldn't I take it to him and save Nick the trip? So that's what we did.

If only I had remembered I had Mike's calculator. If only I have been thirsty, or bored, and had needed to retrieve my water bottle or book from my backpack while at work. If only I had kept my mouth shut. Unfortunately, none of these situations are what happenned. Instead, I totally forgot I had Mike's calculator and I went home without completing my promised task.

So, on Sunday, Nick signs on to msn and angrily reminds me that I was supposed to give Mike his calculator and I forgot. I was doing him a favour, he could have been a little nicer to me. But I had forgotten, and in my haste to correct my mistake, I imed Mike, who was also online, and told him I'd be over in 15 minutes to return the calculator. He told me which house he was at, and I left.

Since I had given him such ample warning, I was somewhat perplexed when I rang the doorbell and saw him approaching through the warped glass and I realized he wasn't wearing a shirt. Yes, big deal, blah blah, I understand. But Mike and I had conversations about many things while we were dating, and even after we broke up, and there are two things he knows very well that apply to this situation.
1) Despite his slightly on the emaciated side of things appearance, I still find him very attractive without a shirt on.
2) I'm having a much harder time getting over our relationship than he is. Had. Whatever.

So I was feeling kind of like the porch was rolling under my feet when he openned the door. I handed him the calculator and he said thanks. And all I could do was give him a thumbs up, turn around and walk away in what I hope was a dignified way. But I probably looked like my legs were jelly-like. Which they were. I can't believe how lame I can be. Or how much seeing him once, for 10 seconds, without his shirt on made me think of many, many things and made me really, really want to find someone -- anyone -- and make out with them. Preferably in front of Mike, to show him how over him I am. Maybe I'll take my shirt off.

Think it will work?

So my advice to you is: next time you have to go to the DMV, you'd better bring along your wings.

An amusing winterlude. I mean interlude.

2007-01-23T15:10:00.000-05:00

Setting: my kitchen.

Me: Hey Ellie, do you want some of this Banana of Truth?
Ellie: How do you know it's a Banana of Truth?
Me: It hasn't lied yet, has it?
Ellie: I guess. Oh, don't eat those they aren't ripe yet.
Me: This one is ripe. *takes a bite* oh man! It isn't ripe yet.
Ellie: It lied to you. It isn't the Banana of Truth after all.

So my advice to you is: next time you have to go to the DMV, you'd better bring along your wings.

Originally, Iris was going to be here since that's the song I was going to listen to, but decided it was a Bad Idea.

2007-01-17T19:34:00.000-05:00

I wonder how it is that one does the work sheets for the class, gets everything right, understands it all, studies, and then doesnt even half finish the test. What's with you Mr St Aubin? I've been good little chem student! I try hard! And this is what I get?

*****
In the hall, after StudCo meeting. (FYI, Erika and Adam = <3)

Erika's pants: *start failling down AGAIN*

Evey: Erika, I think your pants are a little big.

Erika: Yeah...

Evey: I think you need a belt.

Adam: Hey!

Evey: You know what, for you birthday, I'm going to buy you a-

Adam: *lunges for Evey* Nonononono!

*****

I really want to be creative. I like writing prose and such. Heck, I'll even dabble in some poetry. But I never seem to be inspired. Ever! This is highly distressing. How does one become inspired? How?

*****

After school, 20 minutes after learning my boss had to skip work today. I was to be in charge of my groupe, Mike, in charge of everything (don't even get me started...). Also to note: I'm not often late for work. If I am, it's due to bad driving, and I always call ahead.
My phone rings. The caller ID says "Mike--cell"

Me: Hello Mike?
Mike: Hi. Are you going to be here?
Me: Ye-ess... Why, are you not there?
Mike: No, I'm here now.
Me: Yes I'll be on time.
Mike: Well, if you weren't going to get here, then I would have to go and get everyone.
Me: *checks time and sees it's 10 minutes before I need to be at work* I'll be there in just a sec.
Mike: Ok. Bye.
I hang up
Me: Yes Mike, because I am just such a flake that I was planning on being late to spite you.

And I really, really wanted to. Oh, but with Karma's help, all was well. I spent the afternoon in my room with my quiet kids ( They have been well trained). They read silently/worked on math (without Mike, AKA Mathboy) while I followed around behind Mike quietly calming down the kids after Mike tried the "sit down and shut up" method. Which of course works every time.

This little bungalow with some strange new friends

2007-01-16T21:15:00.000-05:00

So apparently, bomb threats are the new fire alarm.

Last year, we had a rash of fire alarms which resulted in a lot of missed class and pissed off teachers. About a month ago, someone phoned in a bomb threat. First there was a lock down, and then they were evacuated at three. Today, we had another lock down. We've been having many lock downs for drugs searches lately, so we weren't surprised, and kept working in chem.
(Oh yeah... these drug searches? so far, only in open and other non-gifted classes. Good thing, I'm sure quite a few people would get busted.)

But then they evacuated everyone. The bio classes were very pissed off, because they were in the middle of a dissection, and I was pissed off because I had to wear my new flats through the snow. I had raisins for feet all day.

But then we did the dissection, which is pretty damn awesome. I had no clue how awesome. Erica took over our pig and is hogging the scapel while Cassie and I hold Tofu (our pig). The dissection continues tomorrow.

Aaaand, instead of a spare, I have grade 12 chem per 2 next semester. Why? Because of Hodgson. So, so sad. But I have Magwood and he's a cool guy. My St Aubin thinks I should study chemistry in University, but I don't see that happenning.
Oh yeah... and I get a science free year next year. Sweet deal. And spare. I hope.

hundred years, hundred more, someday we may see a woman king

2007-01-15T21:04:00.000-05:00

I'm about to send my article. And I just finished my virtual pig dissection. I will be dissecting a fetal pig tomorrow in Bio. Gross, I know.

So Hodgson isn't teaching my Writer's Craft class anymore. To say I'm mad is an understatement. Because there's all kinds of sad mixed in there too. Now, I have all crappy teachers. Yeah. I'm hoping to switch into grade 12 chem and get that done. Plus I'd have class with Adam, which would be nice. I'd like to get to know him, he's a nice guy. But still. No Hodge. Emily found out today and was nearly in tears all afternoon. She was in shock.

There's a grad trip to Cancun next march break (not this one). I heard about it yesterday. I have to decide by the 24th. Usually this is done in like, October, ish. Yes, for a year and a half later, but still, this is last minute. Deposit due on Jan 24. I really really really want to go. Unfortunately, my year of grads aren't my close friends. And Kirsten doesn't share my enthusiasm for going somewhere warm. (Ms I went to Atlantis Resort every year for forever).

WE HAVE snow! Real, proper, lovely, fluffy snow. Can you say skiing this weekend? screw exam study.

That was a boring post. Sorry.

Victory is mine! It's a good day in the morning because victory is mine.

2007-01-14T22:13:00.000-05:00

I finished! My article is DONE! I am very proud of it. I already have a plan for another article for them, so I hope this one goes well.

Also, my favourite blogger is up and blogging and so life is very very good. Exams are almost here which for most means stress, but for me means time off and happy. I can't wait.

Maybe I'm a little bit over my head/ I come undone at the things he said

2007-01-13T13:15:00.000-05:00

Girls' night last night chez Erika with Lorien. Too much fun. Pictures to follow. Teaser: 3 little monsters...

So, about a month and a half ago, I emailed Shameless magazine (after psyching myself up for a couple weeks -- thank you mcc!) and pitched them an article about Insight Theatre for their section called "The In-Group". The website said to be patient because it might take them a couple weeks or months to get back to me. 4 days later, they emailed me back with their approval.

So I was planning on writing it over Christmas Break, but my teachers seemed to have forgotten the break part of that and I ended up working on homework the second week. The result? I haven't started yet. And my deadline is monday.

I can't seem to get myself going. I cant even start it. I keep trying to and don't. I want it to be really good... after all, this is a NATIONALLY published magazine that I would get to be in. It has to be good. Because I'd like to write something else for them.

This is an invitation for all of you to give me a BIG kick in the pants. You all have my email address, and moral support/advice would be much appreciated.

The time has come, the walrus said...

2007-01-10T00:12:00.000-05:00

This is one of those posts that needs to get done.

Lots of people read my blog. That's great! I love it. I am in no way discouraging people from doing that. However: lately, I find myself censoring what I want to write, because I don't know how people will react, who will read it, etc, etc. This has been bugging me. Because I started this blog so I could talk and you could listen. This isn't meant to be a democracy people. It's a Evey-ocracy. Which means: I talk, you listen.

I have decided that I'm going to go with that and stop censoring myself. Sure, there are some things I'm not going to write because it's REALLY too much information, but things that happen in my life that I want to discuss? They'll go down here.

Why this sudden change of heart? I finally talked to my mom. We had one of those conversations where I grit my teeth and come right out and ask her something that I'm convinced she's not going to like and will lead to a very awkward conversation. But it didn't lead to that. Instead, we had a great, un-awkward conversation in which I came to realize, yet again, how cool my mom is. And if my mom can be that cool, why can't my lovely readers?

So if you're someone who thinks they shouldn't have read something on my blog, you are pretty much wrong. I'm not going to publish secrets or things I don't want my mom to know (well... not big things) because that could have a way of getting back to her. You don't get back what you put out on the web.

So enjoy my new, self-censorship free blog. It may not seem too different to you, but it will to me. I hope uncensored me is even cooler than censored me.

PS: I'm having a bitch of a time finding a colour scheme to stick with. If you have an opinion on one you like that I do/have done, let me know. Because I have no clue what looks good.

We swear we'll love you more...

2007-01-05T21:50:00.000-05:00

What happenned to all the teen magazines? In the past few years, teen magazines keep going under. YM, ELLEgirl -- and not just USA, but Canada, Quebec, Britain... The best one! What happenned? Do we really want 12 year old ELLEgirl fans to be reading ELLE, and its articles that are of a decidedly more adult nature ("OhMiBod" anyone?). Yeah. Too wierd for words. All that's left is Seventeen, which used to be good, but has gone downhill. I'll just stick with my Shameless.

#200

2007-01-02T23:43:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year everyone, and 200th post. I wrote a post about this but Picasa/blogger ate it, and I was tired and don't remember what it said, so I hope this is good enough. Some might say it's a little emo, but I would call it "introspective". Whatever it is, I decided to write it, so there you go.

Remember when I first started blogging? I think I was in grade 8, and I was trying to be cool, like all you superior, awesome "high schoolers". I am so glad I did, and I got to know you guys, because honestly (yeah, yeah get ready for the sappy cliché) I wouldn't be the person I am now without you guys. You were the ones who helped me see that I am a cool person and gave me self esteem and all that great coming-of-age novel type stuff. And for that I thank you.

Even in this past year, I have changed a lot too. I stopped being that girl who dreamed about a boy kissing her, and was that girl who had a boyfriend and was madly in love. It was an amazing first relationship, none of the silly "I guess I like you... we should date because it is expected of us." We were in love in that, totally convinced it's going to last forever kind of way. And that is so hard, but at the same time, it seems like that's the way to have a really strong connection with someone. You have to believe it will last, otherwise it's not the same, it has a looming endpoint that adds an air of "what's the point?"

So maybe I know nothing about this. I have after all had only one (aforementioned) relationship, so what do I really know about relationships? I don't know. I'm bullshitting. I'm pulling it out of my head. But I think it makes sense regardless.

The other thing I learned this year? Breaking up. I learned how it feels to have the wind pushed out of you (literally) when your main support deserts you. It scared me. I was so scared and anxious, it was physically painful. I remember lying in bed with my mom (I couldn't be alone. I couldn't do it. I crawled into bed with my mom because I needed someone to hold me.) and wanting to fall asleep so I could get some relief from the pain. Pain I couldn't do anything about. I felt so hopeless, so powerless. And I was. By the way, Nathan, Jonah, thank you so much for being there. Without you... it would have been bad. Worse, anyway. I didn't want to scare you; and I thank you for letting my blubber away like a fountain (I realize what a downer I was for the rest of the trip).

Finally, finally, I'm coming out of it. Sure, when I see Mike I have a pang of sadness, where I miss him. I still think about what I could have done to fix everything, to have had things turn out differently. And I still dread the day he finds someone else and I completely become Kendra (his other ex). But I see now that life will go on. It does. Also, I have (for the first time ever) learned to stand on my own two feet. I've been so used to wholly depending on someone (Avery, Mike) that I couldn't stand alone. I always needed that person to reassure me in EVERYTHING (I'm sure it was exhausting). And I'm learning to figure it out for myself. I still can't trust my opinion or my theories (hence my English class issues, which is all about interpretation & theories), but I'm hoping that will come in time. And I'm excited about dating! I really am. I hope it starts happening, because I'm looking forward to it.

Finally: Yay! People read my blog! I'm so glad. Keep doing so! (Yes, Jonah, it was a little low, but it worked, didn't it?)

To Jennifer: I'm so glad you read my blog! I know my life isn't as interesting as Marlie's, but I do my best. I hope you enjoy!

To everyone: Quick! Help me make my life interesting so I can blog about it!

"My lips are so kissably... kissable!"

2006-12-30T02:56:00.000-05:00

This is my post #199. I wonder what I will write for the big #200. I'm open to suggestions.
I wonder who still reads this blog. Comment if you do, I suppose.

I spent a lovely day hanging out with Lorien. Yes, it was in the same house as Mike being pissy at me (ugh! Everything I said he took a stupid way, and prickled... the two of us was so irritating!) and with Andrew and Mike's new XBOX 360 as well as Lorien's new mp3 player, which did make things slightly awkward. When your hostess is on her computer and the two other semi hosts are playing anincredibly gory, misogynistic, DUMB, game... there's not much to do. But watch said game until there's so much gore you think you might puke. Or rip your ex's heart out to prove he has one.

A couple of their family friends came over, these twin boys, 17, who were very nice. And cute. We played Rumoli, the classic Welsh/Boreham/Hornbeck favourite and I played Worms Armageddon with Phil. It's on a tiny PSP screen, I mean, I really needed to lean against Phil to see what was going on. It was necessary.

Note: It is very awkward to flirt when your pissy ex is in the room. And friends with the guy you're flirting with. Doesn't exactly condone itself to the swapping of co-ordinates. Thank goodness for mutual friends.

Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land...

2006-12-27T21:16:00.000-05:00

Hmm... I don't know what to say. I have no clue.

I worked in the wonderful world of retail today. I helped to sell The Coat, the 1000$ shearling coat that's been at the store all season. And I partook in the selling of it. I feel special. Also, Evey's curse of driving all potential customers away from the store was broken with a very busy day. I like working with Sarah. Since she isn't my boss (one person I work with) or practically my aunt whom I've known since I was born (the other person I work with) it's a more calm working relationship. I don't get super stressed out. And when I make mistakes like I press the wrong department for shoes under 30$ or I make the feed angry and it spits silly things at me or I forget a security tag in a HUGE bag of clothes, she just calmly helps me out and doesn't give me that "You are a freak" look. Because she is a freak like me. We re-did the windows with sweaters (Sarah: I can never tell what old people like...) and it looked pretty fab. I was excited.

Did I mention I have a cool mom? Cause I have a pretty cool mom. Sister too. I lost my wonderful Aldo receipt which was going to get me 15% off my next purchase, but more importantly, it was from the boots which I discovered were too small. And were very expensive. So she went to Aldo's and convinced them to exchange my boots. After searching our house for the receipt. And printing off my bank card statement. I think she had to hack into my account for that, but meh, I can live with it. Thanks mom!

She keeps saying she's going to start reading my blog, but hasn't yet... We'll see...

All I want for Christmas is you

2006-12-26T11:59:00.000-05:00

And we finally have snow! A day late, but no matter.

I had a wonderful christmas. Despite convincing my sister to wake me up at 8am, my cat obviously didn't get the memo, and woke me up at 7:30. Thanks, Rosie. Merry Christmas to you too.

Santa was very good to me, and I spent the afternoon lying on the couch watching The Breakfast Club and Sex and the City among other things while my sister used her new Panini machine to make me sandwiches. My mom got a mud mask courtesy of me, a preview for our spa day we're going to have next week.

Around 3, everyone put on their new clothes and we headed out to dinner at Molly and Peter's condo. It was SO delicious. And I impressed their Ewan-MacGregor-esque son who is home from grad school with my half a glass of wine with dinner allowance. We are definitley meant to be together, despite the age difference... and his long-time girlfriend... But no matter.

I finished off my evening by watching "In Excelsis Deo", the West Wing espisode from my West Wing season 1. Perfect way to end the evening.

I hope Santa was good to all of you as well, and that you continue to have a Merry Christmas!

It's beginning to look a lot like late March...

2006-12-24T12:09:00.000-05:00

The sky is blue, the grass is green and the sun is shining... and it's Christmas Eve!! What the heck? We canadians are having a hard time computing this whole "Christmas without snow" thing. I mean, it's now officially winter, and there is no snow anywhere. None. It's hard to be in a Christmas spirit when there's no snow.

In other news, I'm going to be editor of the Lisgarwrite next year, which is moderately exciting. I mean, it's exciting that I have been deemed qualified for the position, and that I'll be working with Mr Hodgson on it, but it also means I'm the one who has to chase after people to get them to write articles. I hope I have good grade nines next year. And good exec.

I'm desperately searching for a new blog to read, as the one I read, matildazine, went off the net (*tear*). I'm now trying out other ones. Let's see how it goes. If you have any suggestions, let me know. I just want a well, written blog by someone whose life is moderately interesting and has insightful things to say. Yeah, yeah pretty rare in blogdom these days, but I'm trying.

Merry Christmas everyone, I miss you all! Especially you guys south of the border. I wish I could see you, but alas, it is not to be. Write me a note when you have some time!

Twirl

2006-12-02T12:57:00.000-05:00

Yes, it's true, Jimbo is in 6 aka 5 so for one night WE WERE technically IN THE FINALS.We pwn all.

EXPLANATION: This all has to do with an improv tournament with various teams from various high schools. A handful of temas compete each night and yeah.Lisgar is amazing at improv. Our Jimmy team always makes nationals (knock on wood) On Firday at lunch, we threw together this year's Jimbo, or B team and had a couple practices, and decided to try our luck at the Connor's Cup. Most of us have been Improv groupies, but never actually on stage. Only 2 of us had been on stage. The rest were just so pumped. And we pulled off a 448. Yeah.

Lloyd, I'm ready to be heartbroken

2006-11-30T21:22:00.000-05:00

EVER.

So today, on my way to class from Orchestra, Sarah Mackenzie reminded me about our Studco exec (Student's Council Executive) photo at lunch. Which was awesome, because we were going to take it on the roof of our school. Where no one goes.

So I went to the main hall at lunch, and all together exec went up to the roof, led by none other that everyone's FAVOURITE (hah) principal, Mrs Gledhill. We went up allllll the stairs, and through the locked door at the top of the fourth floor landing and up some more stairs until we got to a very Harry-Potteresque door that was half the size of a normal door. Mrs Gledhill unlocked it and we all went out onto the roof.

It was so cool. The view was so nice (I love cityscapes), with the Parliament buildings in the distance and all the other Ottawa things. There was this little tower on the roof of Lisgar that we all wanted to go see, but we weren't allowed.

But then after our picture Gledhill was like, "Now I'll show you guys around the 4th floor." So we were like "COOL!". So we went in, climbing over the old art projects and Singer sewing machines and got inside. And we saw the drywall walls COVERED with writing. All over the place. All these windy old wood bits and old brick and then the new drywall bits put in around the heating stuff and such. Exec from a couple years ago signed a wall with a list of their names and positions. And tons of other people too, random ones, had signed all over the place, a lot were super random, like "how did they get up here?"

Someone signed on wall with "First time Conservatives and Republicans in powers at the same time in (x) years: Mulroney + Bush" And we added on underneath that "And then again in 2006 -- Harper and W. Bush"

So then Ben pulls out sharpies and Gledhill and the other teachers supervise us signing all over the walls. Not just our exec, but the grads took a wall, I signed with Josh O, I left a message that I hope someone gets later (no promises, but we'll see) and message to the universe, just so someone remembers it. Sees it maybe, years from now, and wonders about the story.

I was one of those moments that I knew I wanted to remember for the rest of my life. Like this is a memory, right here. Pretty awesome.

Connor's Cup

2006-11-25T15:56:00.000-05:00

So, here's the deal.

Our school is big on the improv. It's a big deal. Everyone goes to watch, and the kids who compete are pretty much amazing. We've got a team that has been together for almost 3 years, and they're so good.

This monday there is a competition for just the Ottawa area (not the regional tournament for nationals or anything) called the Connor's Cup. Our improv teams is currently mostly stuck in rehearsals for the senior play, The Crucible, which is going on the week after next.

This means that Lisgar needed a team to go. And since Jimbo, our secondary team, is severaly depleted, Mrs K got improv club to pull together a team. Of which I am part. Yay!

All I'm saying is, wish me luck, and if you live in the ottawa area, stop by the museum of science and tech (the one with the lighthouse) Monday, Nov 30 at 7pm for some fun times!

2006-11-21T22:11:00.000-05:00

My first Insight school performance is tomorrow morning! At Colonel By. I'm pumped. Except that we're super stressed and have brand new scenes. Oh goodness.

And then I get back to school and have a chem test I'm not ready for. SO not ready. And my teacher wasn't here today and I had a million questions for him. Not cool. At all. And due to my show, I won't be able to see him before school. And it was my lowest grade on my report card due to a bad day causing a fail on a test. Yeah, sucks. A lot.

Studio 60 made me happy this week. But then there's the lack of drama:

ewings73 (9:56:57 PM): the pilot set this show up to be awesome, but the show didnt grab on to its tail as it went by
ewings73 (9:57:18 PM): like Wes went HERE IS DRAMA TAKE IT IT IS MY PARTING GIFT TO YOU
ewings73 (9:57:40 PM):
matt: should I have grabbed that and run?
danny: probably
Wes: *facepalm*

Oh Michael Christie.

PS: wish me luck tomorrow!

PPS: I *was* planning a bday party for me, but due to my extreme lack of friends, it's canceled. I wish I were kidding. I have 6 people to invite and only Kirsten and Alex can come, and I hang with them on sat nights anyway. Fuck. I hate this lack of friends.

2006-11-08T21:26:00.000-05:00

Today was fun.

I skipped Bio with Erica, Graham and Emily, and we were on the mall, when Graham suggested we go bust Phil out of English with Chang (Chang is a young, inexperienced teacher who is known for gullibility and push-overness, as well as his wish to be neither gullible nor a push-over). So Erica says "I know! Evey, go in and tell Chang Phil has an Insight thing!"
I am like the WORST liar ever so I told them I couldn't do it. So Graham went in. Here is what I heard went down:

Graham: Hey, Mr Chang, Evey's freaking out because she and Phil have some Insight Theater thing and she doesn't know where he is.

Mr Chang: *buying it*

Phil: I do? I forgot?

Graham: Yeah

Mr Chang: Well, if you have to go, you'd better go.

Phil: Yeah. *packs up stuff and leaves*

Class: *laughs*

Chang: *waves*

So, I added the wave for dramatic effect. But it was still awesome. Phil was so happy to be out of class and we then all traipsed off to ESD (Elgin Street Diner).

It was a good day.

So when you ask "was something wrong?"/ That i think "you're damn right there is but we can't talk about it now."

2006-11-07T20:51:00.000-05:00

My birthday is coming! Any presents you want to get me in the form of witty e-cards, blog celebrations or e-hugs and convos will be accepted next week. PS -- I'll be 16.

Things have been busy on my end. Lots of StudCo things to do, lots of planning, lots of homework. But I get to not go to bio tomorrow. Yessss.

Not really anything else to say right now.

Survey

2006-11-04T22:05:00.000-05:00

1. What time do you get up in the mornings? Orchestra morning: 6. Other Weekdays: 6:30. Rowing Days: 5:30. Weekends: 11.

2. How many beers until you're drunk? I can't say that I know...

3. Do you like beer or hard liquor? haven't formed an opinion :P

4. Have you ever had a one night stand? Nope.

5. How do you take your coffee? I take it in the form of a cup of Early Grey tea.

6. Do you eat breakfast? Usually. Unless I'm stressed or I have rowing.

7. Do you prefer sleeping alone? It's nice to have someone I curl up next to. Like mommy when I have a bad dream :D

8. Do you smoke cigarettes? Never have, never will.

9. Have you ever burnt your hair? No, but my sister's did when I was lighting her birthday candles!

10. Do you sleep with a pillow? Yes. I have like 5 on my bed.

11. What were your habits as a child? Small child? BARBIES! I was that cool. That and running around Avery's backyard, jumping over ski poles (aka: show jumps) on my "invisible" horse, Honeysuckle.

12. Do you want kids? I think so.

13. Are you an only child? Nope.

14. Do you like road trips? The only one I went one was with my whole family, and at the end it was like "GET ME AWAY FROM THESE PEOPLE!".

15. Who are your 6 best friends? I don't think I have 6... Kirsten, Geoff, Alex, Mcc, Nathan... Those are the people I talk to the most. Also Michael Christie. He hears about my "One Tree Hill" of a life a lot. Sorry Michael!

16. Do you brush your teeth in the shower? Occasionally.

17. Do you eat leftovers? Whenever my mom is too tired to cook.

18. Do you prefer being single, or in a relationship? In a relationship.

19. Are you in a relationship now? No. *sigh*

20. Have you ever cheated? Nope.

21. Have you ever been cheated on? I'm almost positive no.

22. Once a cheater, always a cheater? Usually, but not always.

23. Pajamas or naked? summer: naked. Winter: flannel!

24. What do you take when you have a headache? Ibuprofen

25. Roughing it or luxury hotel? Hotel!

26. Beach or pool? Pool to swim, beach to hang out.

27. Would you give your number out to a stranger? No, but if he was cute I'd take his.

28. Ever hitchiked? No

29. Ever picked up a hitchhiker? Nope.

30. Roses or daisies? Whatever you want to give me :D

31. Do you consider yourself conceited? I don't know... I do talk about myself a lot.

32. Is your hair its original color? yes, but not for long!

33. Do you wear makeup? I'm trying to more

34. Do you eat ranch with your pizza? blech no.

35. Do you believe in God? I really really want to.

36. Do you have a crush on anybody right now? I still love with someone.

37. Do they know it ? Yes.

38. What food could you absolutely never give up? Tea. Not a food strictly speaking though.

39. Who's your favorite cartoon? The Weekenders

40. What tv shows do you watch? Grey's Anatomy, Studio 60 otss, Gilmore Girls (ish), ANTM, Project Runway/Catwalk.

41. Do you think you're attractive? Jury's out.

42. Are you allergic to anything? Nope.

43. Ever had your heart broken? Yeah

44. Who was the last person to hurt you? Mike.

45. Who was the last person you hurt? I would say Nick.

46. Do you wear socks to bed? No, I can't seem to do it. It doesn't feel right.

47. How do you feel about breast implants? No. I'm glad I didn't get my mom's chest and got my small breasts instead.

48. What kind of shampoo do you use? Pureology colour care (it just cleans the gunk out of my hair, I have the worst hair/scalp ever) and Lush solid shampoo.

49. Have you ever been in love? Yeah.

50. Do you think love is real for young people? Yes!

51. What song are you listening to right now? The State that I am In, by Belle & Sebastian.

si tu viens éclairer mon ame quand j'en ai besoin

2006-10-15T18:12:00.000-04:00

Here is the story of the Very Awesome Weekend.

Friday night: Coffeehouse. Best coffeehouse ever. Performers were all awesome, and a fun time was had by all. Enoch came back among good-natured shouts of "You know you don't go here anymore right?" and "You graduated! Take the hint!" and performed with some others an acoustic version of Toxic by Brittany Spears with a trumpet, a backpack (read: anorexic looking) guitar and Megan Underwood who can sing SO WELL, but nobody told me. Geez Guys. Kirsten and others improved and all was well and AWESOME.
Caitlin Davies and Kirsten then slept over at my house. Kirsten does this a lot, but we had to convince Caitlin Davies because she thought my mom was scary, but she was in fact super nice. Which was good. Caitlin is currently homeless, and her alternate was sleeping on the street, so I'm glad we convinced her to come with us.

Saturday Day: Lay in bed all morning, as did Caitlin while Kirsten dashed off to volunteering. We then watched a lot of Grey's Anatomy until Caitlin took off for downtown.

Saturday Night: SAUNDERS FARM! Fun, Halloween-y themed place with fun stuff like the Barn of Terror, mazes, little things for kiddies, Haunted Hayride, etc. I went with Alex, Kirsten and Geoff, and Geoff drove. Since it was my first out with friends with a youth driver experience, my mom was way freaked and had me call her a lot, but it was ok. Except every time I talked to her, she sounded sketched out, especially when I asked if we could go hang out at Tim Horton's after. But she was good mommy and let me go.
We also saw a funny little show called "Monsters of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Squirrel, which turned out to be pretty funny. And the Haunted Hayride had some new stuff that I hadn't seen, so I got sufficiently scared and clingy (sorry Geoffy). Fun times.

Sunday: Sucks. But that's ok! Because Insight is having its preview for PPO employees and we will be back at Jack Purcell Community Centre which makes me happy. *dance*

Next weekend: SCEC! Students' Council Executive Conference! Bascially: Student Councils from all over Ottawa take over a hotel for the weekend. SO MUCH FUN. I can't wait.

The saddest part of a broken heart isn't the ending so much as the start

2006-10-02T23:05:00.000-04:00

So true.

So my original plan was to post about my wonderful weekend of working at Student Life Expo in Toronto all weekend, where I handed out info about safer sex and HPV from the sexualityandu.ca booth. I also semi joined in a bachelor party in a bar and saw Second City. Many good times. Fell in love with Bishops U too.

But instead I had an INCREDIBLY crappy day. Yesterday was Oct 1. That was supposed to be my one year anniversary. My phone sang to me about it. And I was very sad. Why? Because suddenly, I miss Mike again. So, so much. And he's fine. I really, really wish we could get back together. But no.

Insight is down to the crunch. We're pretty much done writing scenes, and now we need to prepare it to perform. Premier is in a couple weeks.

UPDATE

2006-09-29T06:46:00.000-04:00

My little fragment, as you put it Erin, will be published in the Wandering Phonograph at my school! I'm excited.

I'm afraid that I'll spend the better part of next year scared that I might need you

2006-09-26T00:02:00.000-04:00

"Sideways" by Matt Caplan. Playd Mark in Rent at one point, actually. Anyway, welcome to my life:

Lost my train of thought around Chicago
Found a little solace where you lay
Never made collages as a young child
Not that much to see So much to say

Now even in this silence there's a thunder
And rain that steals the breath beneath this cage
And at least I've got your memory to soothe me
This bitter poison ripening with age

Because everything I've ever done I've done because I love you
Silly you should ask
I'm afraid that I'll spend the better part of next year scared that I might need you
Bring me down and I'll feel again
Everything I've ever done I've done because I love you
Sideways

Lost my patience well before West Fourth Street
Found a copper coin, said "Seize the Day"And I let the angry audience surround me
Hiding as I screamed "Give o'er the play"And now even in this thunder there's a silence
A shred of comfort standing at my door
And at least I've got the sense to reconstruct you
And leave me twice as lucid as before

Chorus

And you left your mark
And you left your face in the corner of my mind three times
You left your mark
You left yourself

And at least i've got the sense to sense what's coming
And realize that good things never come to those that wait too long

Because everything I've ever done I've done because I love you
Silly you should ask
I'm afraid that I'll spend the better part of next year scared that I might need youBring me down and I'll feel again
Everything I've ever done I've done because I love you
Sideways

with a river of "yes"'s and "whatever"'s you traded me long ago

2006-09-23T23:09:00.001-04:00

I did "Walk for Life" tonight. It's a candlelit walk to raise money to fight HIV/AIDS. I went with Insight. A few of us went to Elgin Street Diner (ESD) for dinner before, and then the walk. After the walk, Jon, Phil, Leia, Emily red, Emily purple and I hung out outside city hall, planting our candles on the stone, and burning stuff. Like ticket stubs. Not like, important things. Just playing with fire. Lots of fun.

I also did my first pilates class, and it was PAIN. I was shaking. My muscles were shaking in the poses. And I'm not supposed to be in that advanced a class or something, but my mom signed my up anyway. So that was major pain.

I hung out with Kirsten, Alex and Geoff last night, and we had fun. Watching Stargate, hanging out. I love having friends to hang out with on Friday nights.

2006-09-14T23:39:00.000-04:00

Yesterday afternoon, a man walked into Dawson College in Montreal and started shooting. He wasn't after anyone in particular, just started shooting. This has been a HUGE DEAL in Canada. All over the news. They're doing the usual "blame the goths, blame first person shooters" stuff, but everything aside, it's scary. In Quebec, they don't have grade 12. They have a year of independant study at college. So there were 16 year old kids there. My age. It's pretty scary.
The stories are horrifying and so far one girl has died and a bunch of others are still in hospital. I don't know anyone at Dawson right now, I used to have a friend who went there, but I still send prayers to all those students who had to deal with this. As Patti said "You teens are young. You shouldn't have to deal with this kind of thing. And yet, you do."

White Walk

2006-09-12T22:13:00.000-04:00

This is just something I wrote. Last night at 1am online with Mcc. I wrote it and didn't edit it into oblivion. I like it, which is what is important, so I thought I'd post it. (PS: Don't mind the random changing persons. It's what I do.)

When she closes her eyes she can't see it, but she knows where to find it. Her lips part and she tastes it and feels it run up her arms, across the small of her back, holding her there. It feels like warmth; the kind of warmth that comes only once, but fills you so you don't notice it anymore, you just can't remember how you lived without it. It's the smallest thing that becomes everything, growing quietly, slowly opening up new parts showing you places that you never even knew you could feel. But you can.

Winds change. Warmth drains away and suddenly you're naked even though now your eyes are open and you've wrapped yourself in everything else. And no matter how hard you try, those new places stay empty; nothing will fill them, not even shadows. Your eyes are open and you don't know where to look anymore. You can't find it. It's left you alone in the long, cold white and all you can do is wrap yourself in it and walk.

House blog!!

2006-09-12T21:55:00.000-04:00

Michael Christie and I on AIM during the season premiere of House. Good times.

SBristowSD6: OH MY GOD.
SBristowSD6: House just jumped the shark!
ewings73: I saw that!
ewings73: what happenned?
ewings73: what was with that?
SBristowSD6: BAD BAD BAAAAAD writers.
SBristowSD6: BAD writers.
ewings73: It went all "Supernatural"e
wings73: on me.
SBristowSD6: He has "I think I see aliens and just got rectal probed-itis."
ewings73: I was waiting for Jared Paledecki to show up
SBristowSD6: Ew.
SBristowSD6: He's icky.
ewings73: is not
ewings73: what is with the Chase trying to do a chinese accent?
ewings73: TATTOINE shoutout.
SBristowSD6: I don't know.
ewings73: WHAT THE HELL.
ewings73: with metal in the neck.
ewings73: maybe he's a robot.
SBristowSD6: That may have redeemed the episode.
ewings73: HOW?
SBristowSD6: Hey!
ewings73: please, enlighten me
SBristowSD6: You're ahead of me!
ewings73: as to your train of thought
ewings73: HAHAHA
ewings73: where are you at?
ewings73: proof again canadians win.
SBristowSD6: Houston.
SBristowSD6: But you're like a few minutes agead.
ewings73: in the episode smartass
SBristowSD6: He just went "A Beautiful Mind" in his neck.
ewings73: and...
ewings73: wait for it
SBristowSD6: No!
ewings73: Im already done the commercial break
ewings73: I KNOW!
SBristowSD6: NO!!!!
ewings73: I KNOW!!!!
ewings73: heehee, nurses have a spekaing role!
SBristowSD6: I'm still in the commercial!
ewings73: ok
ewings73: im shutting up
ewings73: tell me when something happens
SBristowSD6: We're back!
SBristowSD6: Heh.
SBristowSD6: Kursk
ewings73: kursk what?
SBristowSD6: The nuclear submarine that broke and sank off of Russia a few years ago.
SBristowSD6: It was weird.
ewings73: oh yeah
ewings73: I remember that
SBristowSD6: This show is pissing me off.
SBristowSD6: I liked it better when gold caused horrible problems.
ewings73: yeah
ewings73: I don't like the over dramatic ones lately
SBristowSD6: Hee.
SBristowSD6: That was amazing.
SBristowSD6: "I want...to have sex...with my wife!" "Oh!"
ewings73: lol
SBristowSD6: I kind of like Cameron now.
SBristowSD6: And don't like Cuddy.
SBristowSD6: Which is weird.
SBristowSD6: The world is all askey.
SBristowSD6: *askew.
ewings73: I know
SBristowSD6: And I've loved Cuddy since Sports Night!
ewings73: OH MY GOD.
ewings73: I wont say it
ewings73: WHAT. THE. FUCK.
SBristowSD6: God damn it!
SBristowSD6: They're being funny!
SBristowSD6: Like really funny!
ewings73: which part?
ewings73: I saw no good funny.
SBristowSD6: The computer screen, the HDTV, the Movie Screen.
ewings73: oh that
ewings73: I missed the begining of that
SBristowSD6: And House being all gross with Cuddy.
ewings73: I know.
ewings73: maybe she's pregnant
SBristowSD6: "..They're firmer..."
ewings73: PREGNANT.
SBristowSD6: ...
SBristowSD6: You know, this might be a good episode if they got rid of the medical case.
ewings73: I agree.
ewings73: did you just go to commercial break?
SBristowSD6: Yes.
SBristowSD6: I want to see "The Departed."
ewings73: the which?
ewings73: ?
SBristowSD6: The new Scorsese movie with Matt Damon and Martin Sheen and Jack Nicholson and Leonardo DiCaprio.
ewings73: what is it about
ewings73: *cringe for dicaprio*
SBristowSD6: Eh, DiCaprio won me over.
SBristowSD6: As suck-ass as the Aviator was, he was really good.
ewings73: he looks like a rat
SBristowSD6: He does, but you like Orlando Bloom who looks like an eighteen year old girl.
ewings73: does not.
ewings73: Adam Brody is better, in any case.
ewings73: and not OC Adam Brody.
ewings73: Gilmore Girls Adam Brode
ewings73: *Brody
ewings73: oh Dave.
ewings73: WHy couldn't you marry Lane?
SBristowSD6: He got a better deal.
SBristowSD6: Poor Gilmore Girls.
ewings73: OC = teh suck.
SBristowSD6: Yeah.
ewings73: Mischa Barton GONE so it died.
SBristowSD6: The first year was almost good.
ewings73: yeah, so I hear
SBristowSD6: I was born there.
SBristowSD6: I have an excuse for watching it.
ewings73: lol
SBristowSD6: But then the finale blew, and West Wing got good and it was all over.
SBristowSD6: Okay, I love Cameron and Cuddy.
ewings73: yep.
ewings73: haha/
ewings73: yes
SBristowSD6: The same thing happened with Lost.
SBristowSD6: It was good, the finale blew, and they moved Veronica Mars.
SBristowSD6: Lost go bye-bye.
SBristowSD6: Speaking of which: WATCH VERONICA MARS.
ewings73: we dont get it here
ewings73: only re-runs
ewings73: of old seasons with no regularity
SBristowSD6: Aw.
SBristowSD6: Wait!
SBristowSD6: It was on when I was there!
ewings73: in ALBERTA?
ewings73: or BC?
SBristowSD6: British Columbia.
ewings73: I live in ONTARIO.
SBristowSD6: Is CTV different there?
ewings73: BC is way cooler than we'll ever be
SBristowSD6: Does your crazy nation air some programs in some provinces and other ones in others?
ewings73: "Yell at me, that'll fix the kid"
ewings73: guess who said that
SBristowSD6: Not there yet.
ewings73: guess.
SBristowSD6: Cameron?
ewings73: nope.
SBristowSD6: Veronica Mars
ewings73: lmao
ewings73: nope
SBristowSD6: Hee.
SBristowSD6: Pig in poop.
SBristowSD6: Wilson's a douchebag.
SBristowSD6: I don't like him anymore
ewings73: with the pain pills?
SBristowSD6: "You're not always right, House."
SBristowSD6: Douchebag!
ewings73: but he is!
ewings73: ALWAYS.
SBristowSD6: Oh, GOD.
SBristowSD6: Chase!
SBristowSD6: Yay!
SBristowSD6: That was gay.
ewings73: lol
SBristowSD6: I'm so pissed off, I'm now resorting to hateful epithets to express my displeasure.
SBristowSD6: Thank God for boobs!
ewings73: lmao
SBristowSD6: I still think Chase's lame Yo Mama joke was the best thing about this episode.
ewings73: HA! serves Cuddy fucking right.
SBristowSD6: No!
SBristowSD6: SHH!
ewings73: you'll see.
SBristowSD6: Spoiler-free in Season Three!
SBristowSD6: Is that Merrin Dungey?
SBristowSD6: I LOVE MERRIN DUNGEY!
ewings73: I... don't know?
ewings73: who is that
SBristowSD6: Nevermind.
SBristowSD6: I love Foreman was all "Looks like you were wrong...again." And Cameron is all glaring at him.
SBristowSD6: It's awesome.
ewings73: haha
ewings73: OH MY GOD -- for real.
ewings73: *shushes self*
SBristowSD6: Good Oh my God or Bad?
SBristowSD6: I need good news.
ewings73: not saying anything
SBristowSD6: Aw.
ewings73: "So.. I'm kind of wierd?" "We're all kind of wierd"
SBristowSD6: Oh.
ewings73: that wasn't oh my god
ewings73: tell me when they get to the diagnosis.
SBristowSD6: Okay.
SBristowSD6: Cuddy just admitted it.
ewings73: getting close.
SBristowSD6: ...?
ewings73: just tell me your reaction
SBristowSD6: Okay, that's kind of cool.
SBristowSD6: That's really kind of cool.
ewings73: the chimera?
ewings73: BUT CSI DID IT!
SBristowSD6: They fucking pulled.
ewings73: seasons ago.
SBristowSD6: Oh.
SBristowSD6: Whatever.
SBristowSD6: I didn't see it!
ewings73: I did. And CSI did it AGES AGO
ewings73: and it was awesome
ewings73: but then it got played to oblivion on Spike
SBristowSD6: Whatever!
SBristowSD6: I'm enjoying the ride!
SBristowSD6: Oh, good lord!
Auto response from ewings73: I had to leave for a sec, I'll be right back.
SBristowSD6: NO!
SBristowSD6: OOOH!
SBristowSD6: Wilson is lame.
SBristowSD6: LAAAME!
ewings73: which bit?
SBristowSD6: Oh Good Lord - Aliens
SBristowSD6: I don't remember what "NO!" was.
SBristowSD6: I wanted House to beat the crap out of Wilson though.
ewings73: yeah